The Lesser of Two Evils
by Suteki31392
Summary: Yet another story where Tohru's memories are erased. She's gone, but when Shigure and Hatori discover that Akito has other plans for the now defenceless girl, they have no choice but to kidnap her for her own safety.
1. Nerva Somnit

**Ok, second fic. My other one isn't finished, and I'm not going to abandon it, but this is something I wanted to work on too. I'll do my best to divide the updates equally (actually, I'll pro'ly just update whichever I feel like). This takes place roughly after the end of book 14.**

**Chapter 1. Nerva Somnit**

She ran.

She ran through the endless labyrinth of dark corridors, desperate to find a way out, hopelessly hunted down like a frightened rabbit. Hardwood floors creaked beneath her tiny feet, her shallow, laboured breaths rushing past a growing lump in her throat. Her terrified brown eyes took in each shoji door on either side for a split second, dismissing all as a means of escape as, truth be told, she had no idea of either where there would lead or even where she was. _A way out. _The only thing to be relied upon. She had to get out. They were chasing her, and despite the stitch in her side, the lump in her throat, and her tiredness _. . . so tired . . . _she had to get away from them. Everything depended on that.

She was indeed a pursued rabbit, with no choice but to run from what preyed upon her. No exhaustion, no obstacle must slow her down. The most important thing in the world now was that she keep running down these corridors, whipping around random corners, closely followed by her tresses of long brown hair, the breath of air which rushed to fill the gap she left . . . . and them.

She almost ran past another door, an open one, but stopped herself quickly upon feeling the caress of fresh air upon her face coming through it. She scanned the room on the other side of it, which was fortunately empty, and spied, on the other side of the room, an open patio screen, through which a cold biting wind was entering the desolate room. A chill, late autumn wind promising death for nature, but hope and elation to the young girl whose eyes were now fixed upon the door with relief.

Not even taking the time to see how far behind her pursuers were, she darted in and was across the room in an instant. She lightly jumped off the wooden deck that surrounded the building and ran out into the darkness of the abandoned Sohma estate. The oppressive mood of the complex was enhanced by the night, and the tiny creature ran through the elaborate prison without being noticed. There was no-one to notice her. Now for the task of getting "outside". The walls rose up around her, caging her in, and mocking her in her attempts to escape from them . . . . an escape many of the Sohmas themselves had tried and failed to make.

Running in between two of the traditional houses, she headed towards the outer wall and, dropping to her knees, began fumbling with the brush tangled on it. Her bruised and welted hands were clumsy in their biting pain, and urgency increased their clumsiness. This was the spot, wasn't it? Maybe she had gotten lost in the dark? Ah! No, there it was! Pulling back some of the brush revealed a hole in the wall, big enough for her to crawl through. She was sure they didn't know about the hole. That might give her some extra time. Silently she thanked the little golden-haired girl who had given her this blessing.

She immediately dismissed the option of running down the street. They would track her down too fast. Besides, she needed to get to the house. The only way was through the dark, threatening forest. She entered the dense woodland which surrounded the Sohma property, paying no heed to the dew which drenched her socks in minutes or the twigs and branches which caught themselves in her hair. It was cold, though. Very cold. Each of her little fingers was numbed into an icicle, so that the pain in them was merely a dull throbbing. White clouds issued from her mouth with each rattling exhalation. Her dress, though long-sleeved and quite warm under normal circumstances, couldn't keep the cold out without a coat. But, cold, wet, nothing must prevent her from running. The lump in her throat swelled. Her exhaustion was overwhelming. Fear and adrenaline coursed through her tiny body.

Dodging trees in her path, she wound her way through the forest, forgetting all fear and apprehension she normally would have felt in this forbidding environment in favour of her deeper fear of capture. A depression in the land appeared in front of her. She slid down an embankment and at the bottom, tripped and fell.

Breathing hard, she lay on the soft, welcoming grass, her side, feet and lungs imploring her to stay as she was._ I have to get up. I have to get up. I have . . . . to . . . . . get up! But . . . I'm so . . . . tired._

Mud covered her from head to toe, its brown sludge imprisoned between strands of her hair, and caking her cheek. It was so cold. And yet, it was so tempting to simply fall into the darkness that was growing over her vision just as the earth's darkness had swallowed her form. To be covered with this mantle and forget the cold and the fear, and the pain from the many cuts and bruises on her limbs. The mud on her cheek felt soothing against the angry mark marring her skin. Blood seeped comfortably from her arm directly onto the ground, like a gently-flowing river. There she lay, until the sound of a wolf howling in the distance brought her to her senses. She gasped. _Can he still find me, then? _

The thought of the wolves finding her instead of him never struck her as frightening. She struggled to pick herself up and keep going. She struggled to her hand and knees, forcing herself to get higher, higher, ignoring the painful protests of her side and feet. The gentle river became a waterfall instead as she escaped the ground and rose higher. She reached out her arm to grab the tree next to her for support . . . .

. . . . . . and with a sickening lurch in her stomach, she felt her outstretched arm gripped by an unyielding hand. Dread and fear settled in her stomach as he pulled her to her feet. Her weakness forgotten, she attempted in vain to pull free of him. What a pitiful thing it would have been to watch, how she, tired, tiny, wounded child that she was, flailed in the grasp of her captor, who effortlessly pulled her up and held her still. In all matter of fact, he was the only thing keeping her from collapsing to the ground again, and still the child hopelessly pulled to get free, convulsions that barely registered with him.

He called out. _No! He's calling him here! _He turned her around so that she was facing away from him, and shackled her forearms with hands that easily encircled them, forcing her to wince when her bruises protested at this treatment with a jolt of pain. Her blood ran cold when she saw the other man, the one her captor was holding her towards like a sacrifice. The second man stepped out of the shadows of the trees and walked towards the two with a heavy, deliberate step. He stopped right in front of her, towering over her. She hesitated, but dared to crane her neck to look up into his eyes. No, one eye. One visible eye. A blue eye of ice. No words were spoken.

Still she tried to get away; this time, ironically, by backing up, further into the arms of her captor. He released her forearms momentarily, only to imprison her firmly by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against his chest, her arms pinned to her sides. The movement could almost have passed for a tender embrace, were it not such a mutilation of the intent of a real one. The icy-eyed man gave his companion a long, hard look, then he slowly brought up his large hand to cover the girl's eyes. The last thing she saw before he covered them was his own visible eye, staring deeply into hers and begging forgiveness. She watched as the ice melted and began streaming down his cheek, then, all she could see was darkness.

She began to cry also, tears drenching the palm of his smooth hand. They cried both together, both the condemned and the unwilling executioner, until finally he forced himself to do the deed. She saw a light, growing bigger and bigger. She was rushing towards it. No, that wasn't it. But _some_ of her was rushing towards it. She saw them appear in front of her, one by one, only to be consumed by the light and disappear.

The one who called her "Mutti".

The one who called her "sister".

The one who apologised even right there in her mind, before he disappeared.

The one who was really _two _people she would lose.

The one who had the courage to admit he was a child.

The one who seemed very much like a brother.

The one who smiled sadly and said "Goodbye".

The one who she had tried to break the Curse with.

The one who could see all the good qualities in her loved ones.

The executioner himself.

The one who would not cry.

The two whom she loved so dearly, who had been like brothers. And maybe, _he _had been something more.

Then it was dark, all around there was nothing around her but a void. The forest was gone, the night was gone. Everything was gone, and there was no-one. No-one except for _him._ In the darkness, there was nothing else to look at. She was petrified by his appearance in the darkness, a cruel, twisted imitation of a smile hewn across his face, hair black as the night and his own malice-filled heart, face as pale as death, long white fingers tipped with knife-like fingernails, the cut of which she had felt before.

He extended his arm and brought icicles of fingers to her cheek. Wrapping his other hand around the back of her neck like a noose he pulled her forward and whispered into her ear, "You can't save them . . . . . You can't even save yourself from me." Silence reigned over the two for a while, oppressive and constricting as the prison she was trapped in. His.

Again he whispered, hot breath tickling her ear. "This isn't over. I won't let you off as easily as that." With that, he released her, and without warning, shoved her hard so that she fell to the ground. Her already battered body screamed in protest as a fresh wave of pain overtook her. She ignored it however, and scrambled to her feet. He was walking away, beginning to disappear, too. Still shaken by his words and – _Don't think about that! _she commanded herself_ – _she ran towards him and grabbed at the sleeve of his black coat, which almost made him invisible in this dark void.

"NO! Stop, please! Come back!" Even him. She didn't even want to lose him. The last one. "Come back!" Pain shot through her face as he slapped her hard, and she lost her grip on his sleeve and fell back again. He towered over her, a pinnacle of commanding power. He knelt down beside her and gripped her shoulders. A gentle voice with a dangerous edge issued from his mouth next, like the flat of a deadly sword.

"I will come back. You'll eat those words by the time I am done. But you're never going to see them again. They will remain, bound closer to me than ever before. And it's all. Your. Fault. You've failed them. You deserve to be abandoned by them." She shook her head. "Just as you have been abandoned by everyone else."

With that he disappeared, the feel of his icy fingers vanished from her shoulders, and she was alone in the blackness. "Come back!" she cried out pitifully, tears streaming once more down her face. "Come back!"

"Come back, please! Please don't leave me here!"

With a start, still uttering the words "Come back", Tohru Honda shot up in her bed. Her eyes darted around the plain, modern styled room she shared with her cousin. Nothing was out of the ordinary. She took a few deep breaths, attempting to slow her racing pulse.

"A dream," she murmured. "It was only that dream again, Okaa-san." But it had been so frightening. She had been having this nightmare for a while now, and each time it woke her, each time the same words "Come back," had fallen from her lips, those words the only memory she ever had left of the dream. It was bizarre. In her mind, Tohru knew that the dream was a recurring one, and that it was truly, truly terrifying, but she could never recall any detail of it. "I can't remember, Okaa-san. Why can't I remember?!"

No answers would be found to these questions tonight, so, forgoing her own anxiety for the moment, Tohru checked to see if her cousin, Chinatsu, was awake. She wasn't. _Thank goodness I didn't wake her up this time. I made her very angry the last time I did. _A small wave of rue came over her at the trouble she had caused Chinatsu, but then, remembering how the older girl had asked her _"So what happened? Uh, don't tell me you wet the bed. Man, it's bad enough I have to share a room with you but you also do gross things like that?!" _Tohru had received a deal of grief from her cousin about that incident – she even went so far as to tell her aunt and uncle – even though she had tried to explain that the liquid was sweat. Not that Tohru held it against her cousin. After all, regardless of what it was, _she _had been the cause of making the bed wet and waking her cousin, and there was such great deal of sweat that Tohru could easily see how it could be mistaken for a "spill". How many people sweated so profusely about nightmares anyway? Particularly ones they couldn't remember afterwards.

_I'm pathetic._

_Ah! The bed is wet again! I'd better change the sheets. I don't want Chinatsu-san getting grossed out by me again! And if Oba-san and Otoji-san find out I've ruined two sets of sheets _(Tohru neglected to think about the fact that she hadn't ruined any sheets at all)_, they'll be very angry at me. _

She rose quietly from the bed and very carefully pulled the sheet off, keeping an eye on Chinatsu to make sure her sleep was not disturbed. Folding the white mass to a manageable size, she opened the door to the room quietly and tip-toed to the linen closet. She was very careful not to wake anyone. She didn't want to make her relatives angry again. Not for the first time, Tohru pondered the shift she had felt in the way they spoke to her, looked at her. Lately she really couldn't do anything right. They always seemed to be angry at her.

Tohru knew she was a clumsy, largely useless, and often stupid girl. She knew she caused much more trouble than she was worth. And she knew that ever since she had started living with her aunt, cousins and grandfather, they had constantly had to scold her. She had never, ever been good or diligent enough to earn any praise. Oji-san was always being kind to her, but then, he was the sort of person who found it very hard to be mad at others. He was always being too soft on her.

Lately though, harsh words had become harsher, and they were thrown at her everywhere, where before she would have been largely ignored. More and more chores were being left to her that Chinatsu would have done before. But there must have been _something _she did to deserve it. Yet everytime she tried to think about the point where the change in behaviour had occurred, everything in her memory seemed blurred and indistinct, like a black and a white circle fading into each other, the point of change no longer apparent.

She was so pathetic she couldn't even realise what it was she had done. As she pulled out a clean sheet and placed the damp one on top of the boiler to dry, she thought for the hundredth time about the possible answers to this problem. She had heard that her older cousin's desire to be a policeman wasn't working out well at all. But what could that have to do with her? Tohru didn't know, but when she inquired about it, he had slapped her across the face. "Slut," he said. Chinatsu and her aunt hadn't said a word. In fact they had given Tohru hard and angry looks, to her bewilderment.

_Maybe all it is is that I've been slacking with work. Yeah, that makes sense. After all I've been given more chores, so it makes sense that that's the punishment. Oh, but that doesn't explain what I did to make my cousin lose his chance to be a police officer. Oh, Okaa-san, I should be grateful to be allowed to live here . . . so why do I keep feeling worse and worse the more I think about it? I must be getting very spoiled._

She was about to return to the room when she heard the front door open downstairs, and close heavily. _Who is it? _It was late at night, and Tohru momentarily entertained the possibility of it being a prowler.She dismissed it however, as the door had been opened very easily by . . . whoever it was that had opened it. Timidly peering down the stairs, she called in a voice low enough not to disturb her sleeping relatives, "Is someone down there?"

**That was my first time writing using Tohru's character. I hope I did ok with her. She's hard! Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more! (Ugh, I sound like an advert, lol!) If you have any questions at all, leave them in reviews and I will answer them if I can without spoiling the story . . . **

**Plus, there are going to be some Latin themes in this story (teeny, tiny ones). And all the chapter titles are Latin.**

**Thanks, hugs from Suteki31392!!**


	2. Nerva Iterum Fugit

**Chapter 2: Nerva Iterum Fugit**

It is a well-known principle to many, many school students that if you lie face-down on a book the whole night, you will not have sucked all the knowledge from it into your head by the time you awake. No matter how many times you fall asleep on your books.

It didn't work for Shigure Sohma, either. Not that he really cared. Shigure woke up in his office/library to a cold draft from the shoji door that had been left open all night, and a cramp in his back from spending the night hunched over a volume of Edward Gibbon's "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire" (in English!). It was very interesting. He did find it particularly interesting to draw parallels between particular Roman emperors with modern-day figures and politicians – and even people he knew. Running a hand through his dark, Shigure stood up and went to close the door. He shivered. Autumn was almost over. If he hadn't kept his obi on over his shirt, he would have caught a terrible cold. A cold. That wouldn't have mattered too much.

_Oh . . . ? Wouldn't it? _A memory came to him, unbidden.

_She gasped and ran to the gray-haired boy's side, fervently feeling his forehead. He blushed at the contact, but she didn't notice. "That's terrible!" she exclaimed. "Do you have a fever?"_

Banishing the memory, the tall man turned around and surveyed his room in silence. Several brown, brittle leaves were strewn around the room, having blown in during the night. Shigure looked at each and every one of them for a while . . . and left them where they were. He went back to stand at his desk. He picked up the cup of long-cold tea from the desk and brought it out to the kitchen. He poured out the freezing liquid and put the kettle on to boil up some more water. He stood by the kettle as it boiled, its growing ire gradually managing to conquer and destroy the thick cloud of quiet which prevailed around the house, until the switch flipped, the sound retreated, and the silence engulfed the kitchen once more.

Shigure poured the tea and sat at the dining room table. He ran through everything he needed to do today. All his manucripts were finished, if anything he was ahead of schedule (Mitchan was getting worried, he was sure), and there wasn't any cleaning to do either. He had started cleaning ever since . . . . _that_, and the house, though not as clean as Tohru had managed to keep it, was definitely not a tip. Shigure didn't mind cleaning anymore, he found. In fact he did it almost relentlessly at times. It helped get rid of the silence for a while.

Unfortunately, one person, even if that person was Shigure, couldn't produce much mess. And so, he was faced with a very uneventful, very _quiet _day. Of course he had had plenty of those before Yuki came to live with him, but the result of having his house full of noise and life and laughter for a year was that he found it hard to get used to it again. And he wasn't sure if he ever would.

Silence, silence, more silence to come. It was maddening sometimes. He had long since stopped feeling amused at the thought of an avid reader and writer detesting silence so. But engulfed in it like this as he was, it mocked him. It mocked him because on quiet days like this one was promising to be, there was nothing keep him company but his thoughts. And his thoughts inevitably turned to the cause of this silence. He remembered that he was going to see Akito today. Akito. He was Domitian; calculating, dangerous, prone to sporadic bursts of cruelty and anger, rather paranoid. He increased his power and presence in the ancient world through force, and neglected the welfare of his people in the process. _Who are you to judge? _asked a nasty voice in Shigure's mind.

As it was, Akito wasn't expecting him until around noon (it was never wise to visit him too early in the morning), and it was only – he checked the clock on the wall – eight. Four hours. Perhaps a walk would be necessary. Better than thinking, anyway. He cleared away the cup in silence. He changed in silence. He put the old shirt and trousers in the washing basket in silence, pulled a comb through his messy hair once or twice in silence, gave up in silence, fetched his socks and a coat in silence, and descended to the porch in silence, where he put on his shoes in silence. He stared at the door for a while, as if he was expecting a familiar blur of orange hair and foul lunguage to fly through it, then turned and opened the front door to go out.

And who should be standing there, with an arm raised to ring the doorbell, but Tiberius herself; principled, hardy but sincere.

Both looked shocked to see the other for a while. The chill breeze catching at both their hair was the only movement in those seconds. Then Shigure spoke, doing his best to impersonate his usual flippant manner. "Oh, Mayu-chan! To what do I owe the honor of Her Highness' presence?" The stress he placed on the word "_High_ness" didn't produce much visible reaction, though.

"Save it. I came to find out what the heck is going on." There it was. Tiberius' frank, cold-edged manner of speaking. He wasn't one for scheming and politics. He put what he wanted to say out there. "I'm the Emperor. I can say what I wanna say, see if I care what you think". Somehow, Shigure was sure he would have had that manner whether or not he had become such a powerful man, he would have retained this trait. And here was Mayuko as proof, in all her non-imperial glory.

Shigure sighed and leaned against the doorframe. "Can you be more specific?"

"You know what I'm talking about. No games, Shigure."

"I certainly do. But I still need specific questions." He watched her take this with a mixture of surprise and suspicion. After a while Shigure asked "Do you want to come in?"

"Huh?"

"It's common knowledge that you utterly despise my company, but I'm getting cold. Aren't you? I think you can relent to that "hatred of my company" thing you have for a practical reason like that."

Defeated, Mayuko followed Shigure inside, surveying the traditional house on her way in. "Congratulations," she said dryly, cocking her head. "The house hasn't fallen apart." He laughed hallowly.

"Ita non vero, Tiberie," he muttered, going to the kitchen.

"Come again?"

"Do you want any tea? Coffee?"

"No". The sharp edge to a voice long tired of playing his games. She crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen counter, and Shigure suddenly felt like a student. "I am going to ask questions, and you are going to answer them. No crap, got it?" Shigure regarded her quietly. "Where are Honda and the Sohma boys?"

Shigure answered without hesitation. "Yuki and Kyo have gone back to live with their parents." Not a lie, but not the whole truth, either.

If Mayu was surprised at his frank answer, she didn't show it. The next question was on the tip of her tongue. "And Momiji and Hatsharu?"

"They already lived with their parents, anyway". Half-true (literally). "But their parents followed en suite, and had them brought back to the estate for private tutoring also." Half-true.

"Private tutoring?" She repeated dubiously.

"Yes. Considering that soon Yuki and Kyo will be finished high school, their parents wished to have as much control over their education as possible. And Momiji and Hatsuharu's parents decided it would be better to keep them together."

"Really."

"You're free to go to the estate if you think I'm lying, you know. Just in case you think I'm hiding them all in a closet." The sentence was finished with a quip, but Shigure's voice had none of it's usual annoying high-pitched vivacity. Mayu gave him a look that was difficult to discern. But it was replaced by a harder one. Was it anger?

"Something wrong?"

She looked back up, face hard and frustrated. "Who decided this?"

Slightly taken aback, Shigure answered, "The boys' parents". Lie.

"If that is the truth, I don't like it." She was rather angry now. "They should be at the school."

The dark-haired man responded with dry humour, "Pardon them if you're offended Mayu-chan, but I hardly think you have any say in what's – "

"Oh, shove it Shigure. You know as well as I do that that tight socialitic, excuse for a mother doesn't give a damn about what's best for Yuki, and given that Kyo was allowed to live with _you _for so long, I doubt his parents are much better." Dark eyes stared at her. "They don't _care_, Shigure, and you darn well know it. They don't _belong _there. They should be at the school."

She ended her tyrade, slightly abashed, and looked down. Quietly, she said "You should have done more to stop this."

He didn't respond. She didn't know how true those words were. "And Honda? Where is she?"

"She has gone back to live with her family."

"Just like that?"

"They couldn't leave her with _me_, could they?" Monotonous. No flippance. It was the _truth_, anyway.

"I asked her about all this earlier, and she seemed bewildered to say the least. Did Hatori-kun erase her memory?"

Shigure was slightly amused by the matter-of-fact way she spoke about Hatori's ability. There was no point in hiding it from her though. "Yes, Mayu-chan."

Mayuko made an affirmative sound and nodded her head once. "Why?"

"It was for the best." The long-since learned-off word fell from Shigure's mouth like bitter ashes. _It's for the best_, the Sohmas always said. They were words one quickly grew accustomed to, along with the fact that no further information was necessary. The idea of questioning further was non-existant. It was one of the reasons that Mayu's company was so refreshing; _she_ was about to ask another question. "If you don't trust me or my judgement when I say it was for the best, do you trust Hatori's judgement that it was?" The words streamed out, harsh and hallow. "I don't know what you're so upset about. After all, this way she'll never get the chance to "discover my true nature", will she?" As if for the purpose of effect, Shigure's face had become that of his "true nature" – cruel and cold. "How fickle of you".

Mayuko, to his surprise, didn't glare as she usually did. "Maybe." She ran her hand over the counter, suddenly becoming interested by its smooth surface. Shigure wondered briefly why she was being so . . . . . . . _subdued _. . . . but he dismissed the thought. He should let her go now. He didn't want to be around her anymore. He was just making them both frustrated – her for self-explanatory reasons, himself because he listened, and always knew that what she said was true, even if she herself was unaware of the extent.

"You should probably go."

Mayuko surveyed him, noting that he was dressed for the cold. "Where were you going?"

He shrugged. "A walk."

"Well, I won't keep you."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm not going for a while."

"Huh? Why not."

"We'd end up going in the same direction." She prompted him. "And I'm giving you time to get a head-start," he explained. "Would twenty minutes do?"

"Whoa, whoa! Hold on a second! I'm not kicking you off the tracks, Shigure."

"Well, there's no need. I'm forgoing my ambulatory privileges."

"I'm a teacher, Shigure. I know what that means."

He smiled wryly. "Oh? That spoils it a bit." He began to chuckle, but Mayu cut him off quickly.

"I don't mind. It's okay. I still need to speak to you, anyway."

Processing this, Shigure went to the front door, and opened it for her like a concierge. "Well, if you still need to talk to me, _anyway_, off we go."

She grimaced at his behavior. "So this means you don't mind walking with me, either?"

"Call of necessity, oh she of fickle trait." Finally, after this long, she glared.

"You are incredibly annoying, you know that?"

He smiled again. "And we both know that's not the worst of it."

Mayuko left the house quietly, and the walk began in a condition Shigure was beginning to hate – silence. The stillness of the oncoming winter, permeated by the crunching of leaves underfoot would usually be a haven for him, but the overexposure to sound's absence had made him sick of it. He was tempted to make light conversation purely for the sake of making some noise, charading for a while at life and vivacity, but he didn't want to make things worse. He would have prefered to have Mayuko yelling at him than endure more silence, but he couldn't motivate himself to annoy her. The sombre cloud had not been left behind at his empty house. It followed him, making him empty too. It followed him everywhere, the memories floating on the edge of his consciousness. Mayuko kept giving him strange sideway glances, so he wondered briefly if his face was beginning to reflect his thoughts. Could any face betray the master of masks?

"How are you holding up?" Her question brought him out of his reverie. He turned to her.

"Uh. What?" he asked intelligently.

Her face was challenging, yet she kept staring straight ahead down the path, not looking at him. "You miss them, right? Yuki, and Kyo, and Honda?"

"Oh? Is it not foolish to assume such sentimentality of me, the cold, untouchable Shigure Sohma?"

"Is that true, or are you just grasping for titles?" The silence plagued him again. Even the cold morning wind seemed unable to banish it. "You're not stupid. Stop pretending to be. Something's not right. I know it, and I think you do too. And I - . . . . ." She looked away. "I'm worried."

"Worried," he repeated. "About what?" She still wasn't looking at him.

"About the boys, and about Honda . . . . and about you." At this, she finally turned to him. "You're different, you know? It's as if there's a shadow everywhere around you. All of a sudden, you've become . . . . darker, something about you has, anyway. In the fifteen minutes I've been with you, you've joked, but they've been dry jokes, not _stupid_ ones; you've answered my questions, honestly or not, straight, and you've laughed but it's been an image, a reflection, of the way you usually laugh. I had to stop you. I guess that's why I shut you up back there." Mayuko sounded slightly annoyed at herself when she said this.

"Wasn't the laughter and joking the lie all along?"

"You're more like Hatori was after – ". He inwardly flinched. "As if you've died." she said quietly. "So that's why I'm worried, more than anything else. You're acting so much like he was then. That's why I'm worried about Honda, and about you. Something . . . . . happened, didn't it?"

"Comparing me to Hatori is an insult to him – "

"Something you wish you could _forget_? Something _she_ had to?"

At this point, they had arrived at the exit from the woodland surrounding Shigure's home. The wind was cold. Something else in the air was colder. They both stopped, one staring at the grey sky, the other at her companion. "She's safe now, Mayu," he said quietly to the sky. "As long as she's away from the Sohmas – away from _me _– she'll be safe. You don't have to worry about her anymore. And," he added, "it's certainly not your duty to worry about the likes of me."

The wind died.

When Shigure glanced at Mayuko again, she looked a little sad. "There are times," she began, "when I can't help but believe that you are a good person, Shigure." She was about to leave, when she turned back and finished, "I don't know why you keep pretending you aren't."

She left and took the path to their right, back to her parents' bookshop. He watched her back until it disappeared. _No. I don't why I keep pretending I am._

He took the left path.

Nine. Three more hours. Shigure had wondered into the city by now, going nowhere in particular. Not many people wereout at this time on a Saturday morning, and the shopping districts were quite deserted. The walls of open, hopeful shops looked neglected and abandoned, yet they optimistically held out for some visitors. Shigure sat on an unforgiving iron bench, frozen and seemingly unfit for sitting, and released a long sigh. _Curse this_. _Curse it!_ He was so frustrated the irony never registered with him. He wanted to scream and cry and tell the entire world about _everything _and go to sleep and never wake up, all at the same time. This was the worst part of having no noise. It made him think so much about everything.

Even before, when he had been using her, the noise and laughter and life in that house had helped him forget about his particular curse, his stain that was of his own making. The stain of the tainted person he really was. Having the life around him made him forget it to the point of near oblivion, and allowed him to pretend he was just a harmless, benevolent joker playing host to people who weren't welcome or happy elsewhere.

There had been times he had almost believed it himself.

His head darted everywhere and anywhere, searching for something to do besides think of this. _Follow that? _Better than nothing. He got up and ran towards the side street, never thinking about how strange he must look. _Are you crazy? Maybe. I am having a conversation with myself, after all._ He turned the corner, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu he was getting – he pushed thoughts of that night away – and without thinking –

"Wait!" Tohru yelped loudly and dropped all her shopping when her forearm was grabbed, not roughly, but . . . . urgently. She couldn't prevent a cringe running through her, though, nor could she stop her arm from tensing up.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! STUPID! _Shigure screamed at himself. He watched the little girl surveying her fallen load in dismay. She hadn't looked at him yet, and he wondered briefly if he should simply release her and disappear before she did, but soon she turned her head and he couldn't help furtively risking a glance at her.

She was the same. A fear he had not noticed, disppeared. She wasn't different. Movement beneath his fingers, still wrapped aound her arm, jolted him back to his senses. He looked at Tohru again – really looked at her – and realised for the first time that she looked increasingly nervous, her face was contorted in what looked like pain, and the barely felt convulsions from her arm told him that she was half-attempting to pull it from his grasp, expecting him to let go. And growing more nervous the longer he didn't.

Shigure quickly released her and watched the contortion in her face dissipate, to be replaced with nervousness. _Fear? It's not fear. It can't be fear. She doesn't know me, she doesn't remember –_

"I, um . . . . ah! I'm very sorry, Sir." Tohru bowed in apology, speaking in a low voice filled with shame. _I can't believe I just ignored him like that. I was just worrying about my groceries and I didn't pay him the slightest courtesy, oh I really am very rude how could I have been so audacious and it really was my fault the groceries fell; if I had just been holding on tighter I – _

Her conversation with herself ended when two hands held her shoulders and pushed her up out of her bow until she was looking into the eyes of the tall man. "Do not apologise to me," he said, in a way that made it sound like a command. "It was my fault." Tohru was completely abashed, her tongue impossible to train into speech. She kept on nervously darting her eyes away, and, just as a catch caught on a line, being drawn back. _Brown . . . Ah! Don't, Tohru! _She wondered again and again if she should apologise, opening her mouth and stopping herself each time with a reminder of his command.

It was just when Tohru was becoming extremely nervous being alone in the deserted side-street with this eccentric stranger that he released her and dropped to the ground, industrially packing the fallen items back into the two bags. Tohru stared for a while, but quickly knelt down also – it wasn't right to have him at her feet, in such an inferior position, as if he was prostrating himself. _And they are my groceries. It isn't right for me not to help. Of course. But . . . _She shook off any thought of the uncomfortably familiar feeling she had felt, seeing the man that way.

They continued packing the two bags Tohru had dropped, he keeping his head down, Tohru's eyes darting back and forth nervously between him and the groceries, until everything was back in except a carton of milk. The man held up the sodden remains of the mangled container. "It burst," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Oh no, don't worry, it's fine!" He looked up. Abashed, she lowered her head, still mumbling assertions that she was able to replace it and it didn't matter that much . . .

The dark-haired man grabbed the two bags in one hand, sprang to his feet, and waited for her to get up too before holding them out to her. Tohru thanked him again and again as she tentatively extended her arm. "You know," began the stranger, just noticing something, "if you hadn't been holding these both in one hand, you probably wouldn't have dropped them as easily, not that that in any way takes away from my responsibility for all this." He added the last part with a smile when she opened her mouth . . . _as if he knew . . . . but – _

_The smile. It's like a . . . . . reflection . . . . . _

"Um, yes . . . thank you." She complied to hold out her other arm, and took one bag in each.

"Are you uh, sure you don't want me to replace the milk?" Somehow, he seemed to know the answer.

Tohru shook her head vigorously. "No, no! Thank you very, very much for offerring sir, but it really is completely fine. Thank you."

"Alright." The man looked as if he was about to say something else, and finally threw it out there. "It's very early for you to be out shopping on your own, isn't it?"

The girl swallowed and looked down at her feet. Quietly, so that she wasn't sure if he was able to even hear her, she said slowly, "I'm just picking up some things I forgot when I was shopping yesterday. I wouldn't be out so early but for my carelessness." Tohru suddenly became very frightened that this intuitive man who already seemed to know so much about her just by being around her would pick up on her anxiety. _It was a simple question_, she told herself. _Calm down. Calm down._ "S-sir?" she stuttered, eyes still trained on the ground, "May I go now, please?"

"Uh? Yes, yes of course. Don't let me keep you. And I'm very sorry, again."

Shigure barely had time to apologise before she darted off, a small wince shooting through her right arm with every step she took.

**"That's not true, Tiberius".**

**In Japan, it's considered forward to make eye contact with someone one does not know. Tohru's in a . . . . . bit of a fix (I bet she thinks it's her fault!)**

**Okies, thanks for reading. And uh, if you're wondering, the answer is no. N and O. I know it came across that way but it's not meant to be.**


	3. Monitio Claudii

**Yay! I get to reply to reviews. Thank you!!**

**tohrukun92126: You've got lots of numbers in your name, too huh? lol. Thank you for reviewing both my chapters. That was really sweet, cause it was one update and the norm is kind of one per update . . . . but you gave me _two_! Thank you!**

**cm1000: Awww, I made you cry? Oooh! I'm glad you thought the characterization was ok, cause that is one of my big worries when I write – that I don't move too far away from the original characters. And I'm happy you thought the Shigure and Tohru interaction was good, cause I was considering getting rid of it, actually . . . . that was close!**

**Chapter 3. Monitio Claudii**

Nerva. That's who she was. That's who Tohru was. The comparison entered Shigure's mind as he walked down the lonely pavement towards the elaborate prison that was the main house. Nerva, who succeeded the tyrant Domitian once his reign of terror ended. Nerva, the first of the Five Good Emperors, who was in entirety a harmless old man. Nerva, who set up low-interest loans for poor farmers, the proceeds of which were given to widows and orphans. Nerva, who treated all with utmost respect, despite being the highest member of his whole society. Nerva, who released thousands imprisoned for treason by Domitian, banned future prosecutions for treason, granted amnesty to many whom Domitian had exiled, and restored much confiscated property.

And Nerva, who was utterly defenceless against threats to his life. Nerva, who was too benevolent to persecute and put down those who conspired against his rule. Nerva, who had it not been for his adoptive son Trajan who protected him, would have been assassinated faster than he could say "Parce!" Defenceless.

So, based on that logic, Tohru would end Akito's reign of terror and restore peace and love and joy to the Sohma family. _Uh-uh. Remember that was only due to Trajan's presence. _One thing someone quickly learned about history was that it was governed by people's choices, actions, and often by pure luck or chance. Everytime an action was taken, there were a thousand other possibilities, other "branches" of events, that could have taken place and changed everything about the world forever. This was one of the many, many branches where Nerva wasn't as lucky. _It's odd that people are stupid enough to want to target the people who are the greatest gifts to mankind._

His mind went different direction then. Tohru herself. There were a few things about the encounter which perplexed him. Such as the look on her face that having him hold her produced. Her face was drawn and she looked as if she was close to crying with fear. Fear didn't even come close. _Terror_, more like. Of course, any girl in her position would be frightened by a strange man grabbing them in a deserted side-street (and the more Shigure thought about the scenario, the more he realised how incriminating his behaviour must have seemed), but in Tohru's case this had been so extreme. Wading through the dirty feelings brought on by making her afraid of him – again – the writer wondered if perhaps she, in any small way, remembered. According to Hatori, his power couldn't _destroy _memories, per se. The term "erase" was misleading. Rather it covered them up and hid them. Theoretically, Tohru's memories – all the memories she had acquired throughout her life – were still inside her mind, but most had had covers drawn over them by time, as it is with all people, who forget most of the details of even the previous day. But all memories can be brought back to the surface by a trigger.

Which was why it was imperative to stay away from the person whose memories were suppressed. Perhaps Tohru, on being around Shigure, had instinctively become afraid, even if she couldn't remember why.

Other points of her behaviour perplexed him. When she apologised, she hadn't done so in her trademark fit of panic. Her apology had been low, filled with shame and submission. And when he had asked her why she was out so early . . . . . . . as crazy as it sounded, Shigure was sure she was trying to hide something. She wouldn't look at him, and she had scarpered as quickly as possible thereafter.

Should he talk to Hatori? No, Shigure didn't cherish the thought of telling Hatori he had risked Tohru's memories returning – he knew the executioner had no wish to erase them a second time, and he himself wondered if the stoic man could take that. He would speak to Mayu again. Ask her to check up on Tohru, and tell her he thought something was wrong. That was all he could do, really. He was meddling in the life of a complete stranger.

The Sohma House loomed in front of Shigure, but it was still only half past ten. Nothing to do outside, though.Still, it was ominous that he kept on being drawn back to this place. Stone walls do not a prison make, after all, but there are bonds and ties deeper than those of human design.

* * *

Hatori Sohma rummaged through his files, spilling a mass of paper onto his usually impeccably tidy desk. He pulled open drawers and flicked each coloured tab back, choosing to examine the contents of some, but leaving most. He closed each drawer in succession. _Damn. Where is it? _Giving up temporarily, he got to his feet and paced up and down the room that served as his office several times. He was fidgeting. The self-confessed hypocrite of a doctor pulled a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket, and was about to light it when a movement outside the window caught his eye. He berated himself for the small part of him that hoped it was Tohru, but he was too hard on himself.

Kagura did resemble her somewhat.

The young brunette was darting across the Sohma compound. Hatori watched her, orange cat-shaped bag dancing behind her. He grimaced. He had already told the girl not to put herself in danger, but she had a hidden stubbornness and she would not budge. Still, he and her mother were worried, despite Akito never having paid her much attention before.

Secretly Hatori was grateful for her disobedience. Her visits were the only light in Kyo's world now.

* * *

Shigure watched in secret from behind a screen of ivy hanging from the outer wall as Kagura nimbly made her way to a section of the wall which was hidden behind a house. She was doing her best to take every bit of cover she could, and avoid discovery. It was wise of her to do so. Shigure guessed immediately that she had gone to visit Kyo, who was no languishing in the prison of the Cat, and if Akito ever found out – well, the results would be self-evident.

There was a gap between all of the houses which bordered the wall and the wall itself, and though Shigure was a good few houses down from Kagura's position, he could see all the way down this gap as she gripped the ivy blanketing stone and began to scale the impediment. Simply walking out the front door would be out of the question for her.

Through the limbs of the almost bare tree adjacent the wall, Isuzu Sohma reached out her hand to pull Kagura over. Shigure was mildly impressed by Titus' ability to hide herself so well within the sparse foliage, and more impressed by what she was doing – he knew that Rin was there to cover for Kagura if she was discovered, and that she intended to keep her out of trouble no matter what, even if that meant suffering Akito's punishment again. From this perch she would be able to see if anyone was headed towards the Cat's prison (though it was unlikely that anyone would), and jump down quickly to distract them.

The two disappeared, but not before Rin shot several sections of the compound – including the one Shigure was in – suspicious glares. Humans often tell when they are being watched, but this is more true for animals.

The women had left, and Shigure was left to wander freely. He followed the gap around to the back of the Main House, where the gardens were situated.

The pools were almost frozen over, save for some holes that had been opened to allow the fish oxygen. The ice itself had thinned and was melting in the weak sunlight, only to freeze again that night. Akito was keeping his birds inside most of the time. Some would marvel at the care the volatile young man gave to those creatures, in contrast to everyone else, but Shigure knew that without warning, his gentle grasp on one of the birds could tighten any moment, slowly throttling the life from the screaming animal, slow enough that it could feel the fear and pain before it fell limp.

Yet the birds always returned to him.

He didn't know how long he stayed there, staring at the lifeless garden, before the soft whisper of feet falling onto grass roused his attention.

_Domitian? . . . . _he thought, before turning his head.

_Num tu ades, Claudie? Nonne Agrippina te interfecit?_

* * *

After seeing that Kagura and Rin had both safely left the Main House, Hatori had returned to his futile search, unlit cigarette still in his mouth, and for the past half an hour he had methodically cleared away most of the papers on his desk, checking through each one before sorting them and laying them in neat piles. Kagura's bravery put him in awe of her. She was risking so much to afford Kyo the kindness she could, and heaven knew he'd need it even more soon.

Akito had been ignoring Kyo until now, preoccupied with Yuki, who was undergoing such torture in "his room" right as Hatori didn't want to think about. Akito, he was sure, was determined to break his toy in again. He didn't doubt that Ayame or Kagura would visit Yuki if they could, and they were both hysterically worried about him, but Akito was determined to keep a tight hold on his Cat and Rat.

His search was interrupted by the doorbell.Removing the unlit cigarette and pocketing it, he went to answer the door. "You," he said evenly.

"I need your help," said Shigure equally so.

Hatori turned back into his house and returned to the office. He heard the other close the door and take off his shoes. "Are you bored?" he asked, not turning to his cousin and shifting several files dispassionately. "Since I doubt you came here unless there's something you want from me." Having just spent the last few minutes contemplating Yuki and Kyo's grim fates, he undersandably wasn't going to treat one he considered responsible for their pains but the bare minimum of courtesy.

If Shigure felt the blow, as he did with most things he didn't show it, at least in his tone. He entered the office and Hatori could feel the intuitive man's eyes on him. "What are you looking for, Haa-san?"

"One of Akito's medical charts. It's missing from his "medical history" file."

"What date is on it, Haa-san?" The dragon was cornered.

Hatori stopped shuffling the papers and turned around, a stony face hard and cold with disdain to Shigure."7th September, 1995"

"And is it important?"

"Quite frankly Shigure, no, no it's not important." He sounded as if he was daring him to say more. Shigure equalled his stare with a dismissive one, leaning casually against the doorframe with his arms folded, saying a great deal without opening his mouth.

"What do you want? If you're here to waste my time as usual then get out before I hit you. I'm not in the humour." He turned back to his files, one clenched fists resting on one pile, one splayed hand still rummaging.

"I'm here because Tohru-kun is in danger." Hatori froze. The very air seemed to freeze with him at those words. Everything was deathly quiet, deathly motionless, deathly wan. Unwanted memories came flooding back, but, as was his trade, he suppressed them, and trained his eyes onto the shelf above his desk.

"What are you talking about?"

"Akito isn't finished with that girl, Hatori. He's going to use her to make sure last month's . . . . _incident_ is never repeated, and that the Juunishi remain under his control. From what I can gauge, anyway. Some of that is educated guessing, but he's still a threat to her. I predict he means to keep her as a sort of hostage against them. With everything that entails . . . . " he added darkly.

The air lost none of its chill. "And how do you know this? Akito told you, I suppose?"

"This is where is gets tricky. You see, I can't tell you how I know this." When Hatori turned around again, he saw that Shigure's eyes had slid to the floor, a sad smile on his face.

"So I have to take your word for it." After everything, he was saying he had to blindly put his faith in him with a matter as delicate as this.

"For the little it's worth, you have my word that every word I have spoken is true."

He certainly sounded sincere. But the man had hewed and perfected all his masks over the years so that even Hatori, who could safely claim to be the person who knew him best; was the closest thing to a friend the selfish, manipulative Dog could have; even he wasn't sure. _But if Honda-kun's safety is in question, I'd better hear what he has to say. _"And what exactly do you suggest we do."

"Kidnap her."

"What?"

"Kidnap Tohru-kun."

Hatori's brow came down in frustration. He'd had enough. He wanted this _creature_ out of his house and out of his sight. "This is your idea of breaking the ice, isn't it? Some of us _care _about what happens to her, something someone like _you_ can only see as another string to pull me, and everyone else along! Kisama, get out!!"

"No."

Taken aback by the gravity which took the place of the smirk he had been expecting, Hatori stared at his . . . . . _is friend the right word?_ "I'm very serious about this, Hatori. She was hurt so badly because of me. I can't let it happen again." Hatori's expression softened slightly, but he was still suspicious. "It's my responsibility."

The Dragon didn't know what to do in the face of this. "But . . . kidnapping? Abducting a child?" There had to be some other, less drastic way. Or a way that would fit even slightly better with Hatori's principles.

"It's the only way. I've thought about it, and this is the only way. She doesn't know who we are. Who would believe two complete strangers who told them their life was in danger? And then, how would we convince her to let us help her? Unless we bring back her memories, of course, which is out of the question. If you have a better idea, I'd like to hear it. I'm not going to enjoy this any more than you." He walked over to the small round table near Hatori's desk and sank into one of the chairs. He breathed out heavily and leaned forward on his hand, so that he was facing away from the doctor. "Hatori. I know you don't forgive me. I'm not asking you to, and I don't expect you to. And I know you don't trust me. You'd be a fool to trust me. But this isn't about me, it's about Tohru."

Hatori was in a difficult situation. On the one hand, he could dismiss everything Shigure said as untrue (which it very well may be) and run the risk of it being true and Tohru being harmed. On the other, he could trust Shigure and go along with his plan, and though Hatori knew that Tohru would be in no danger from himself, he couldn't speak for Shigure. Taking the second option would give him exactly what he wanted, and he had proved himself dangerous indeed. Basically, Hatori could risk Tohru's safety, or risk Tohru's safety. "I don't know, I don't know . . . . . ." he muttered, pacing up and down the room. "How can I know you're telling the truth?"

"Lying would be consistent with my character," he confessed.

"Or that you're not just trying to snare Honda-kun so you can use her in another plan?"

"Manipulation would also be consistent with my character." Why did the man have to _say _exactly what people did not want to hear? "But I have two points to make which I want you to consider." Shigure moved his chair so he could stare directly at Hatori. "One; I am speaking to you as your cousin and your friend and I say that everything I've said here is true."

"Which would probably be in any way helpful to your case if my opinion of you wasn't so fraught with mistrust that I would run to the window to check if you told me the sky was blue," Hatori said dryly.

"And two; I'm going to go ahead with this whether or not you help me, so the best thing you could do to ensure Tohru's safety would be to come along and supervise me." He _was_ serious. "I _am _serious." As if he had read Hatori's mind. "You know the lengths to which I am willing to go to accomplish my goals."

"I could call the police."

"We both know you're not going to do that." Regardless of whether Shigure intentions really were noble this time, he could still manipulate everyone around him like pawns. _Damn you, Shigure_. He sighed, and though it went against all his principles, as usual he bent. He was going to help his lying, scheming friend kidnap a helpless teenage girl, and risk wrapping her up with the Sohmas' dark affairs all over again, all on the basis of said lying, scheming friend's word that it was for her own safety. Sitting on the shair opposite Shigure, he tried to escape the horribly dirty feeling hovering outside his consciousness, and asked,

"So, how are we going to do this?"

Shigure held his chin in his hand and closed his eyes, his faced concentrated. "Well, leaving aside the logistics, actually kidnapping Tohru won't be that hard. She's naïve and physically weak and – what?" Hatori was staring at him.

"You're disgusting."

"The lesser of two evils, Haa-san. Needs of the many versus needs of the few. Et cetera."

The two continued this talk for some time, observed by no-one but two women in two separate framed photographs on Hatori's shelf.

**Notes:**

**Hatori's obsession with finding the file isn't as bad as it sounds, as Furuba is set in the years 1998-2000. But it's still pretty bad.**

"**Kisama" is one of the many Japanese words for "you", but this is a very forceful and insulting way to say it. It's often translated as "you (insert profanity here)".**

**I have one burning question; Was Hatori in-character? Was his exchange with Shigure characteristic of their relationship? And was the hint at the end too subtle? Oh look, three questions. Hmm, I could just re-write this paragraph . . . . . but I like writing the way I would talk. Makes it more personal, you know? **


	4. Protectare, Procul Totus Sumptus

**I have my mock Junior Certificate exams starting Monday. That's why the update took so long. The JC is a state exam that everyone in Ireland takes in 3rd year (9th grade), and it marks the end of compulsory education. Most student stay on though . . . . so yeah, I'm real nervous. But here are some review responses!**

**Sauronia; That's a relief. I'm really glad you like the story so much. I'll keep posting chapters!**

**cm1000; Bingo! And bingo again! Yup, you were right about the pictures and the Latin names. And yes, I thought I'd use Rin because she is actually very protective of others. Plus she lives with Kagura. She probably promised her mom she'd take care of her. Back to the Roman names, I won't give too much away but I will say that they'll become very important . . . . . .**

**crystalfeathers; You were my third review on that chapter, which got me thinking – Chapter 1 got one reviw, Capter 2 got two and 3 got three . . . . hmmmm. Let's see how Chapter 4 does! Thank you for the review, and the cute smily eyes!**

**Chapter 4. Protectare, Procul Totus Sumptus**

He still wasn't sure about this. He replayed the conversation again and again in his head, searching for some more of an inkling into what Shigure was planning. He wasn't sure the man was planning anything, but it would be wise to assume the worst of him, he realised with a sickening sinking feeling in his stomach.

There was the obvious detail that Shigure had refused to tell Hatori how he knew about this, and the doctor entertained the possibility that Akito himself had ordered Shigure to capture Tohru and bring her to him. But then, surely Shigure would be better off keeping it from Hatori?

There was also an inconsistency. Why was Shigure so concerned about Tohru all of a sudden if thus far he had done nothing to help Yuki or Kyo? He was as responsible for them as he was for her. Perhaps, though, he felt there was nothing he could do for them. Was there?

Hatori kept arguing with himself like this for a long time, his missing chart forgotten and abandoned. He saw several patients during the day – a boy who had sprained his ankle falling from a tree, a woman who had run out of cold medicine and asked him for some – and had seen to them robotically, his thoughts elsewhere. He gave Akito his daily check-up, and while there found nothing out of the ordinary about his conduct.

The God was in a very good mood, as usual these days.

Hatori returned to his house, and there, he packed two bags; one with his own clothes, one with some women's clothes he had "borrowed" from a linen closet. He left the bags in his car boot and returned to his house. He waited. He smoked some to pass the time.

Finally the phone rang. "Ten o' clock, Haa-san".

"I'll leave now." He put down the phone and hurried through the darkened Sohma House to Akito's residence. Telling the lanky man that Shigure had broken his wrist in a fall, he sough permission to leave for the night. Akito indifferently waved his hand in dismissal, never turning to face Hatori or otherwise moving from his position reclining on the deck, head on one arm. Hatori noticed a rusty brown stain of dried blood on the Head's hand. Yuki's.

He left in a hurried fashion, pointedly taking plaster and bandages for a cast with him, and drove away from the Main House, to Shigure's.

The other man was waiting at his porch, holding a carrier bag and a cooler bag. He flipped open the boot and deposited them, then sat in the back seat. "Got everything?"

"Yup," replied Shigure. "I brought the essentials – milk, rice, cereal, tea, _The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire_, bread – what?" Hatori was staring at him again.

"Tea and an English history book."

"It's very good. You should read it, you'd enjoy it. It's very insightful and critical. It's interesting that Gibbon himself isn't afraid to attribute part of the blame for the Fall of the Empire to the Catholic Church, which is rather brave for a 1700s author – what?"

Hatori rubbed his temples in frustration. "You're treating this like a holiday."

"That was a slip. I was talking about a _book_. You should know by now, it doesn't count if I'm talking about a _book_." He sighed. "Anyway, I brought some shirts and pants and so on in the other bag."

"No kimono?"

"No kimono, no haari, no yukata," answered Shigure, who was conspicuously wearing "normal" clothes again. Hatori started the car and began driving towards Tohru's neighbourhood.

"Why don't you wear them anymore, anyway?"

"Eh? I don't really know. I don't know why I started wearing them in the first place but, it was always a bit of show, wasn't it? I never took it seriously. The whole "novelist's image" and all that." He sounded a bit sad. Hatori listened to all this self-confession with vague surprise at Shigure's solemnity. He hadn't spoken to his cousin unless necessary since last month, and hearing this from him now was a reminder of a side of Shigure he didn't show often, save to Hatori and a few others. He wondered what that side had been doing since then.

It wasn't odd to think of Shigure this way – as many different sides of one person – because in effect, that was what he was. Hatori wasn't sure if there was a "real" one still inside there, but if there was, that sad, solemn voice was probably the closest one could get to it.

They arrived at the estate and Hatori pulled up the car just around the corner from Tohru's house. He killed the engine and checked the time. "Twenty-five past ten," he read out. "What time does she come around this way usually?"

"Half past."

Hatori stared out into the darkness incredulously. "They let Honda-kun walk home on her own every night?"

Shigure stared out the window also. "I'm going to let you realise the irony of what you just said on your own."

Tired from her work, Tohru yawned slightly as she trotted down the footpath, pushing herself to go faster than her weariness wanted to allow. _I still have to do the dishes when I get home_. The stars twinkled in the clear, crisp sky, the grass in the gardens she passed already showing some hints of frost. Tohru shivered and walked on, her teeth chattering slightly with the cold, her nose and fingers frozen.

She rounded the last corner, so lost in thoughts of her chores at home that she almost collided with a man walking in the opposite direction. She jumped back in surprise, toppling over and landing in a heap on the concrete. Her leg grazed against the garden wall next to her and she felt a gash open just above her ankle. A red stain opened like a flower on her sock. _Oh no! I've ruined it! Mmm . . . . protein. Protein needs cold water to be washed out – _

"Imouto-kun, are you alright?" Tohru looked up to see a hand held out to her.

"Ano, I . . . uh, yes thank you very much. I'm very sorry." Though ashamed of her carelessness, she thought it would be rude to refuse his hand, so she allowed him to pull her to her feet. "I'm very sorry. Please forgi-"

He suddenly covered her eyes with a cool palm and she was hit with a wave of panic. _Run away! _There was no time to act, no time to even think about this familiar situation before a strange light filled her head and then she felt herself falling down into blackness.

_Okaa-san . . . . . . Okaa . . . . . . –san? Who is . . ? Where am I?_

There was blackness everywhere. There was nothing, not even a solid surface beneath her feet. _Am I flying? Am I floating? No . . . . I'm moving, though. Wait, not me._

_I'm . . . . . . . . being . . . . . . carried? _

The blackness over her eyes began to recede a little. Groggy and leaden, she tried to move her terribly heavy head. Someone was carrying her. Two strong arms held her firmly but not ungently. _Why am I being carried? Where are we going?_ Her bearer was walking briskly to . . . . somewhere. The darkness still at the edges of her eyes began to advance again, as she slowly slipped back into unconsciousness. She felt the man stop and heard a clicking sound. These facts slowly leaked into her mind through the bubble of unconsciousness around it. She fell slowly back into the blackness as if through deep water, hindered and half-suspended all the way down.

_But I thought I had to . . . . . . wash the . . . . . dishes . . . . . . _

Tohru gasped, and the bubble suddenly burst, flooding her with memories.That was right. She was supposed to be going home to wash the dishes! The man, the fall, the hand, everything came back to her. Being carried down the path, and a car door opening. She was still in the man's arms. The realization hit her like a bucket-full of ice-cold water.

_Okaa-san!! I'm being kidnapped!! Okaa-san, help!!!_

The man noticed the girl's return to consciousness as she stiffened and made a sudden intake of breath. He leaned down quickly and slid her into the car. "Okaa-san" she uttered quietly, her weak voice reflecting the lack of strength in her body. A surge of fear and panic took hold of Tohru as she entered the car. It was a prison. No hope of escape existed but outside it. Tears began to leak from her eyes. She flailed her arms weakly and tried to escape back out the door, but her forearms were grabbed from behind and she was dragged like a rag doll along the back seat and held in place. Just before the door was closed she cried, louder this time, "Okaa-san! Okaa-san! Oka-"

One of her arms was quickly released and her captor clamped a hand over her mouth. His other arm then snaked across her so that he was holding her right arm with the hand that had previously been holding her left, and keeping her left arm pinned beneath the same arm. Then door snapped shut and as that one noise reached Tohru, she fell limp in her captor's arms, tears streaming from her eyes, shudders of fear running through her tiny body. That sound shut her away from the ouside world. That sound made her realise she had no hope of freeing herself.

The first man entered the driver's seat, started the car and drove away without a word, eyes fixed on the road ahead. From her position, half sitting and half lying against the man who held her, her legs along the length of the back seat, she watched her neighbourhood disappear through the window.

_I've been kidnapped. Okaa-san, I've been kidnapped. What should I do? What's going to happ- _Horror stories of abductions filled her head instantly. People dragged away in the night by mysterious assailants, to be locked up and trussed in dark rooms all alone. To be released half-starved and beaten. Or to be killed in captivity, shot or stabbed without a person who loved you anywhere nearby. To die in fear without a loving person around. Or – and this frightened Tohru the most – to vanish from the world, no-one ever knowing what happened to you, never even finding a body.

_Okaa-san, what should I do? What can I do? I'm not strong or brave like you or Uo-chan or Hana-chan. What will I do if they, if they – _hundreds of "if they"s entered her head, none of them comforting. _Okaa-san, what if they are molesters like the ones Otoji-san spoke about?_

She went completely limp with despondence. _It will serve me right no matter what happens. I deserve this for getting myself kidnapped. Just think of all the trouble I'll be causing Ojii-san, Otoji-san and Oba-san. I'm the worst. The complete worst. Otoji-san is right. They should never forgive me for this. Never. _Sobs racked her tiny form, though sound could not escape her mouth.

"Chotto hana, Haa-san didn't scare you that much, did he?"

Tohru felt the grip on her yield, and a hand rested gently on her shoulder. She hesitantly shifted her body to face him, quivering with trepidation. She looked for the first time at the face of her kidnapper, and whatever she had been expecting in the depths of her fear, it hadn't been the sight which met her eyes.

He was quite young, in his late twenties at most, and he had black messy hair. His face was a pleasant one, and it seemed to be made for smiling. The soft smile upon it somehow suited that face. Tohru risked a quick glance at his eyes. His eyes, somehow, didn't reflect the smile it at all. _It's a very sad smile. _

"It's nice to see you again."

"Again?"

He began brightly, "Mm-hm. I'm the strange man from earlier on. Don't you remem – oh . . . . ." He trailed off, comprehension written on his features.

Tohru really didn't understand, but as if by default, anxiety rose again. "Ano . . . Kidnapper-san, am I supposed to recognise you? I'm so sorry and it's very rude but I, um . . . .um . . ." She flinched when sound escaped him.

Laughter. He was chuckling lightly. That didn't seem as sad. "Ki – Kidnapper-san? Aha hah! That's, I mean, ahah ha haha!" He waved a hand in her direction to still her choppy apologies. "No, it's ok. I'm Shigure, and that's Hatori, my cousin forward slash friend forward slash accomplice forward slash babysitter. And I think he would prefer emphasis on the last one. With a different word. Don't use the words I use." Tohru's eyes rested briefly on the back of the driver, the man who had brought her to the car. _But, what did he do, Okaa-san? _The thin shell of security and calm cracked once again as the little girl mentally scanned herself for injury. Her hand twitched and her lips trembled. She didn't _feel _hurt in any way at all, but she was still frightened by her captors, and even more so by . . . _Okaa-san, they mustn't!_ _They mustn't! I have to go back!! –_

"Tohru-kun?"

Tears spilled out of her eyes and she covered her mouth with small hands. Sobs wracked her tiny, fragile form and she began to cry. "P-please. Please, Shigure-san, please. L-let me go. Please let me go. I, I, I have to go back!" The car stopped and the engine was turned off, and Tohru was aware of Hatori sitting against his seat, exhaling heavily. She sobbed, tears blinding her, vaguely aware of black tree branches waving like like claws outside the windows.

Shigure quietly leaned forward and gripped her shoulders, pulling her towards himself so that she was sitting in the middle seat. Tohru risisted weakly, but her body soon slackened and had to submit to his greater strength. She clamped her eyes shut as she was locked in a gentle prison. Still frightened, the timid creature quivered in his arms, dampening his shirt.

She felt his hand push her chin up. The man leaned down and Tohru was terrified that he was going to kiss her. Just a small peck landed on her forehead, though. "It's alright. It's alright. Don't be scared." At this, the girl slowly opened her eyes. He loosened his hold and moved his hand to her head, slowly so as not to frighten her, separating a single brown hair from her tresses and holding it in front of her eyes. "One hair. Neither I nor Hatori are going to hurt one hair on your head. And we're not going to rape you or molest you or do anything like that, either. That's a promise. Ok?"

He pulled her back against himself, kissing the top of her head and murmuring again, "It's alright. Don't be scared." Tohru eventually allowed herself to relax, her tensed body collapsing. She didn't know if she believed him. She didn't know if she was still afraid or not. Right now, more than anything else, she was exhausted. Her already wearied body had been completely drained by the adrenaline and the weeping. Like a small child after a nightmare, she accepted any semblance of comfort and security she could find.

Nobody moved for a while, so Tohru was startled when the other man, Hatori, suddenly grabbed a case from the driver's seat, exited the car, and opened the back door, sitting in next to her. She recoiled slightly. "May I see to your ankle?"

"Eh?"

"Ah, it's ok. Haa-san's a doctor." Shigure let her go then.

"A . . . . doctor? Th-that's amazing, Hatori . . . . . .-sensei . . . ." A shadow of a smile crossed Hatori's face at this reaction, but Shigure frowned slightly. "Ah! Um, excuse me Hatori-sensei. Wh-what do you w-want me to-to do, Hatori-sensei?" She was nervous again. _Frightened? _thought Shigure. _Of what?_

"Just prop your leg up on the seat." Deftly he opened the case on his lap and pulled out some gauze, disinfectant and a bandage. When he saw that she was hesitating, he smiled reassuringly. "It's alright." Tohru meekly pulled off her shoe and stained sock.

"Ha-Hatori-sensei, the blood will ruin your clothes."

"Don't worry about that." Tohru was shivering again, though.

"You don't have to be scared, Tohru-kun," said Shigure. He pulled her back again so that there would be room for the doctor to treat her cut. "He's not going to hurt you."

"Well actually, this is going to sting." Hatori passively held up the disinfectant.

Shigure stared at his friend silently for some time. He exhaled loudly, "Ok, I don't think you _get_ this, Hatori." Tohru couldn't help laughing nervously, but she abruptly silenced herself. The girl allowed Hatori to disinfect her wound, though she flinched at the promised pain (but not as much as she had flinched when he touched her) and gently bandage it, but watched anxiously the entire time. She mumbled disjointed thanks to him, but only relaxed once his hands left her skin.

"Th-thank you . . . . . Ha-Haa . . . ." She trailed off, her small voice evaporating, and falling with her body. She was exhausted, and when the blackness crept around her eyes again, this time she surrendered to it.

* * *

Her head was propped on a cushion on Shigure's lap, serenely sleeping. He almost didn't want her to wake up again, and be thrust back into the trauma. Better for her to stay in this shell of safety. "You needn't think I enjoyed that any more than you did, Hatori." 

Hatori made no response as he pulled a travel blanket out of the trunk and layed it gently onto her, making sure it covered her, his only focus this task. He had slipped into the work, occupying his mind this way rather than idly boding on the situation.

Just like what he was doing when he searched for those useless records.

He satisfied himself and stood up straight. He had pulled it up in a park once Tohru started crying. It was dark and deserted, and no-one would notice their presence. Hatori had felt dirty, thinking methodically like that, like a criminal, and having her crying, pleading behind him, made it worse. In the end, he hadn't been able to do much for her. Again. Again and again, this happened. _Why can't I help her? _

"_It would have been better . . . . . if we had never met!"_

_Why can I never help you? _"Haa-san?" Hatori turned to the other. "I'm sorry." The Dragon closed the door, sat into the driver's seat and started the car again. Soon they were back on the road.

**Nooooo, I didn't forget about the curse!**

**And yes, Shigure did hug her. Completely. To the extent you would suppose he would transform. Yes, you would _suppose _so.**

**Eh heh heh.**

**And as for Tohru, she just fell asleep. It's like, the minute she stopped being tensed up, she completely collapsed.**


	5. Vos Timeo, Sed Quaere Id Faciam?

**Reading over some of my chapters, I think this fic is really taking a lean towards Gureru. So I'll clarify; it's not Gureru. Sorry to anyone who was holding out towards that. Shigure's pro'ly acting a little strange, but this will be clarified later. Now, reviews! (I got four! I'm so happy!)**

**cm1000; Mm-hm, I think that's why I like writing about Shigure. Just trying to figure him out is a challenge. I mean, he's not one of my absolute favourite characters in FB, per se (more Latin!), but I think he's the most interesting. Thank you for your wonderful review! I'm esp happy that Tohru is coming out ok, cause I found her hard to do at first.**

**crystalfeathers; Our wish came true . . . . . . my lucky number is 29, but I that's probably too ambitious, eh? Thank you!**

**tohrukun92126; Wow. You're pretty religious with the reviews. Thank you for reviewing all my chapters. Puts me to shame (I've got to review more!).**

**Chapter 5; Vos Timeo, Sed Quaere Id Faciam?**

Running. Running. Running.

The pursued creature ran through the dark forest as fast as her tired, wounded body would allow. Branches grabbed at her like claws, the very mud trying to take a hold of her feet, bare of shoes as they were. She ran on, ignoring the pain that came from everywhere and nowhere in her at once. She ran like an automaton, driven by compulsion.

She ran because she had no choice.

A fall. A submission. A capture. _A capture! _He held her, and her struggles were as effective as a blade of grass standing against a gale. He held her fast, and the second man appeared, the executioner. Terror screamed in every fibre of her being, tears poured down her face, but she was powerless. Absolutely powerless.

A void came, and she was left completely alone with _him_. A dreadful gash of a smile contorted his otherwise handsome face, and a soft yet dangerous chuckle escaped his mouth. He approached her . . . . _again? _. . . . . and held both sides of her face, drawing it frighteningly close to his own. Somewhere in her mind, the girl wanted to pull away, but she was frozen – even the blood in her veins seemed to freeze in fear.

"Do you really think that will be enough?" His cold eyes leached the warmth from her chocolate orbs, but she was transfixed, she couldn't break free. "Do you think you can escape that easily? Did you really think I would have let you _go_, just like that?" The breath that fell from his lips, carrying all these threatening words, settled on her own; their breath mingling. "And as for that troup of yours . . . ." He snickered again in contempt. "One can't help. One _won't _help." She shook her head in protest, gasping when his hold tightened to still her, and jerk her eyes back up to stare into his own. His voice split then, into his own and another . . . both mingling, both petrifying. "And besides, am I not already close? Right beside you?" He leaned even closer, and their noses touched.

Her breath sped up, her heart raced in terror, but her eyes stayed frozen, locked in those cold . . . . . . . . _cold eyes? _

A push, and she was on the black ground, and he was gone, leaving her with nothing but the void, and cold eyes imprinted on her vision. Her entire body trembled, but she forced her tongue to utter the plea.

"Come back!" _Being alone is the worst thing, the most frightening thing. Nothing is more frightening. _"Come back! Come – uaa!" All of a sudden, it was as if she was pulled down into blackness. She flailed, but her arms stayed pinned to her sides, and she tried to pull away, but couldn't. It was dark, and in her panic she was almost blind, and thought that the void itself must be closing in on her, constricting and binding her, pulling her into the depths of loneliness and darkness. "L-let go, please!"

"No."

"Please! I don't want to! I don't! Please!" Tears flowed freely from her eyes; her arms were pinioned by an unseen force. She turned her head from side to side and her entire body was tensed.

"You don't have to. Nobody will make you. Calm down." Her protests stilled at this, and her struggles receded, but twitches of fear jolted her still. "Open your eyes." The girl obeyed. To her surprise, her surroundings were very bright, and she reflexively closed her eyes again, purple spots dancing on her vision. Slowly, she separated her lids again, and a face came into focus.

"Shigure-san?" She was lying on a bed in an unfamiliar room, and Shigure was standing over her, holding her forearms tightly in either hand, effectively pinning her down. "Shigure-san?" she whimpered, unsure of his intentions.

He released her and sat onto the side of her bed. "I know what you're thinking, and that's not it. I think you were having a nightmare. You were writhing so much I thought you'd hurt yourself. So I held you still." He looked up, and was dismayed to see terror in her eyes again. "Tohru-kun . ." He extended his arm, but she pulled back, flattening herself against the headboard of the bed.

Tohru gasped loudly when his hand came close, recoiling as if his touch was poisonous. Her eyes clenched shut, and she whispered furtively, "Forgive me. Forgive me, please Shigure-san."

"Forgive you?" Shigure stared at the girl in front of him. He barely caught the next words that escaped her trembling lips.

"I didn't mean to do it, Shigure-san. I didn't."

"To do what?" She screwed up her face, looking as if each word of her next sentence was being ripped from her physically, and causing her terrible pain.

"To wake you."

Shigure processed these words silently. As he did so, he watched as Tohru raised her hands to her face in defence and her body tensed up completely. _She thinks I'm going to hit her_. This vulnerable, breakable, completely harmless creature. Shigure felt a little sick. _It's true, you are defenceless, Nerva. If I wanted to, you couldn't stop me. _His eyes rested briefly on her small, raised hands. _No, you really weren't able to_. _If I wasn't used to choking down bile at the thought of myself, I think I'd be sick_,he thought cynically.He extended his arm again and grasped both her wrists in one hand, trying to ignore her whimpers. He pulled her hands away, exposing her face drenched in tears and sweat. A shudder ran through her when his other hand caught her chin and turned her face towards his.

"Open your eyes." Tohru seemed confused at this, but she shook her head. "Open your eyes," Shigure said again. She hesitated, but complied. Shigure stared straight into her eyes and spoke very seriously. "Now, let me get one thing straight. I am not going to hurt you. Not now, not ever. In fact, on the subject, am I holding you too tight?" Tohru shook her head again. "Good." He smiled, half-joking.

"But – ", Tohru whispered, before Shigure cut her off.

Serious again, he said harshly, "If I were to do _anything _to hurt you, Tohru-kun, that would make me a monster. I'd be an evil person to do you any harm. There would be no excuse for such a thing." Tohru made no response. _An evil person_, she thought. He had said it with a look of such cold gravity. He released her again.

"What was the nightmare about?"

She looked back up. "Ode?"

"You had a bad dream. Tell me about it."

"Ano . . . . . i-it's nothing big, really. I'm sorr – "

"Don't try and tell me that. You were thrashing as if you were in pain and you were whimpering in your sleep. And you're drenched in sweat." Tohru's hands jumped to the neckline of her school shirt (she was still wearing her school uniform), which was sticking to her skin. The sweat was cooling by now, and she shivered. Very quietly, she protested, "I-I was just being stup – "

"You'll catch a cold." Tohru was about to panic when she realised she was bothering Shigure, but before she could apologise, he stood, and slipping his arms under her shoulders, he literally lifted her out of the bed and set the blushing girl onto her feet. "You're so tiny!" Shigure exclaimed with a grin. It was hard to feel afraid of him then.

_But _. . . . . . . .

Hesitantly Tohru followed the man out into the darkened landing and down the stairs of a traditional styled house, with shoji and wood panel walls. She wondered briefly where Hatori was. Shigure led her into a large living room and flipped a light switch. Tohru could see several travel bags dumped in a corner. "Sorry about the clutter there," he said good-naturedly. "It was pretty late when we got here."

Which brought a question to the forefront of her mind. "Wh – ." Tohru began, but her words leapt back down her throat when Shigure turned to her, she suddenly losing the courage even to ask a simple question. Biting her lip, she began again, choking out the words. "Wh-where are we? I-if I may know. Please." She summoned all her remaining courage just to look at him.

There was strange smile on his face, and he waved his hand in dismissal. "It's a surprise." Tohru was completely baffled at this, but just then her captor strolled right up to her and shoved a rucksack into her arms, turned her around holding her shoulders, and began to casually push her towards the stairs. "Everything in the bag is for you. You go right back upstairs and don't worry about anything. Go on, go on, dear. Up. Go. You'll catch your death standing around like this. And bring anything you want washed downstairs. There's a basket in the utility room for them." As he said this he pointed down the hall.

Flustered, Tohru did as she was told. _Is he . . . teasing me?_ Returning to the room she set the bag down and began rummaging through it. She picked out some white cotton pyjamas and changed into them. There was an empty cupboard at one wall, so she began hanging up all the clothes she found. She didn't know how long she was going to be kept here. _Wherever here is._

Tohru sat on the bed. _What's going to happen to me, Okaa-san? Shigure-san and Hatori-sensei have been very kind to me, and I'm sure they mean it when they say they won't hurt me. I'm sure but . . . ._

_I'm scared. I'm really scared. I don't know why but being here makes me very scared. I'm frightened of them. I'm frightened of Hatori-sensei and Shigure-san. I – I wish I had your picture, Okaa-san._

Sitting here, for a while she stared straight ahead, all her fear and worries swirling in her head. _Ah! Shigure-san told me to bring my clothes downstairs, I forgot._ She picked up the bundle and scampered back downstairs. Following Shigure's previous direction, she found the basket and put her clothes in. Tohru then walked quietly back down the dark hall, trying not to disturb him, assuming he was still in the living room. She turned towards the stairs –

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Eep!" Tohru squeaked and jumped back when Shigure appeared behind her. She hadn't noticed him leaving th living room at all. "An-ano, I uh, a-a-a-ano, e-eto. I'm sorry, I uh." _I'm not making any sense. _She fell quiet, and lowered her head. "I'm sorry. I'll just go back to bed now. I'm sorry."

"Oh no you won't."

"Ode?"

"You never told me about the nightmare."

She panicked. _Oh no! I'm making him worry!_ "Uh, it was nothing really. I was overreacti – "

"Come on." He almost had to drag her back into the living room, where he set her onto the couch, ignoring her fractured protests. "So what was it about?"

Tohru bowed her head meekly. "Shigure-san, you shouldn't be going to all this trouble for me. I woke you up, I'm still keeping you from sleep."

"No trouble. I was still awake anyway." She looked up in surprise. "As one of my relatives put it so eloquently, "His sleep pattern's insane"". Tohru protested further.

"But it really is stupid of me. I'd be wasting your time. It's stupid of me to get so upset over this."

"No fear is stupid, if it truly makes you afraid." Tohru didn't know what to say to this. "Did it make you afraid?"

Tohru stared at her feet and clasped her hands. "Yes." she admitted quietly.

"And what happened in the dream?"

"I . . . . don't know. I don't remember." Tohru's voice trembled as she made this confession, her eyes trained on her feet. "I, I've had it many times before, and I know it's stupid, but even though I never remember the dream, I always wake up feeling scared. All I can remember is that it's frightening – the most frightening dream I've ever had!" She kept looking down. _It's a shameful thing, I know_. "I'm sorry, Shigure-san. I'm so sorry for everything, for being so weak."

Shigure's hand pushed her chin up, so that she had to look into his eyes. "You," he began with a small smile, "have nothing to apologise for. It's alright." _What did he say?_ "Tohru-kun, have you told anyone about these dreams? Anyone in your family?"

"N-no, I didn't want them to worry."

He frowned slightly. "That might have made it worse." He held up his hand quickly, "And you don't have to apologise. It's just better to let it out there. Tell people about these things." He smiled. "We're clouds. We absorb everything until we have to cry it all out. Ne?" A pause followed. "I think I'll tell Hatori about this in the morning, if that's ok. He might have some advice. For now, try to get some rest. Or is that ok? Will you be able to sleep?"

"Oh yes, thank you for worrying about me. I'll be fine. Are you staying down here, Shigure-san?"

"Mm? Yup. I'm reading."

Tohru scanned the open book on the table. She gasped. "That's . . . . English!?" It was. "But you, you speak English?"

"Not as well as I read, admittedly."

"That's really amazing!" He looked away. "Um, what book is it?"

"It's about the Roman Empire. Well, the entire thing is several volumes in length, but I own them all." _Good old Mayuko. She'll find any book, any language, any publication date if it'll keep me from annoying her. _"I just . . . don't like reading translations for some reason."

"Oh? Why not?"

"Nngh . . . . I suppose it's because they aren't the real words. Not the true essence of whatever the writer was thinking at the time. Not the bare bones of it. I read Mein Kampf when I was younger, eh, 16 or 17 I guess, and I was a couple of pages into the Japanese version when I realised "This person, who translated this into Japanese, he or she doesn't believe this stuff. These aren't the original thoughts"." Tohru thought she understood, but was finding it hard to follow. "I suppose I wanted to read the actual words, the original thoughts that went though the man's head and he committed to paper. I wanted the complete truth of it, I suppose. So I found a German version. It was pretty hard actually. Germany and Austria have banned further publication of it."

"Oh . . ." Tohru struggled between wondering if that was a strange thing to want from a book like Mein Kampf, and awe at Shigure's further ability to speak German, but mentally berated herself for thinking the former. "Shigure-san? If I may ask, why did you want that from . . . that book?"

He looked right at her. "You want to know the real reason?"

"Yes . . . please."

A shadow of a smile crossed his face, before giving way to that harsh, cold look of – loathing, almost. "I wanted to understand the thoughts of an evil person."

Tohru was surprised at this, and slightly frightened by the re-emergence of this side of Shigure. A silence descended and reigned for a long time before she spoke. "Shigure-san. Do you . . . . think you are an evil person?"

"Well of course I am! Remember?" He tapped her nose with a single finger, causing her to colour slightly. "I'm the big bad kidnapper, ne?" He chuckled at her reaction. "By the way, go to bed. You're going to be tired in the morning." She took in a breath to speak, but was stifled when he pressed his fingertips against her mouth. "Go upstairs, Tohru-kun. Be a good girl and do what I say."

"_Be a good girl and do what I say."_

_Uh? Oh, deja-vu. _Tohru was Tohru, so she didn't argue with this. Reluctantly, she acquiesced. "Ano, oyasumi nasai."

"Ditto."

Tohru left, and Shigure, alone, pondered his own thoughts.

"_Hurt her again, Shigure, and Hippocrates will forgive me."_

"I daresay he would, Haa-san," he muttered.

It had been about 3 o' clock in the morning when Hatori had woken him to alert him to their arrival. He had been sleeping, resting his head in a very uncomfortable position against the car door, and Tohru was still asleep on the seat, her head on his lap. He carefully got out and lifted her up, still wrapped in her blanket, and carried her to the front door.

Hatori unlocked it, picked up the bags of food from the boot and wordlessly went to the kitchen. "I'll leave her upstairs, Haa-san," Shigure whispered. Hatori grunted quietly. Shigure ascended the stairs with his light load, and nudged the shoji door of a bedroom open with his foot. He propped Tohru up on a chair by the bed and pulled back the covers. He took off her shoes and socks and deposited the travel blanket to the side, gently untied the ribbons in her hair, then laid the sleeping girl on the bed and quietly drew the covers up to her chin. Finished, he started towards the door, but stopped, looked over Tohru and said,

"I'm sorry."

Then he had left. Hatori had finished putting the things away by then, and was sitting tersely in the living room. Shigure entered and glanced at his friend, reading him easily. "You should go to sleep, Haa-san. I'll stay down here in case."

The silence was palpable. "Fine." It was the first word Hatori had spoken so far.

"You're angry." It was a statement, not a question.

"I've been continually angry with you for the past month. This . . . . isn't helping."

"I've apologised for the sake of your suffering. I'm not going to apologise for taking her away." Hatori didn't respond. "Which memory did you erase back there? When you brought her to the car?"

The Dragon's cold eyes bored into Shigure's. "I intended to do nothing more than cause her to have to study a little harder for her next history exam, but I found a different memory in there. One I thought better to erase."

Shigure leaned back against the doorframe, a shadow of a smile playing on his face. "I was expecting this."

"What were you doing, Shigure? Do you know what was in that memory? Fear. _Terror_. Of _you_. What were you trying to do?" Unspoken accusations clung to every word, showing that Hatori really did believe his cousin capable of anything.

"I did nothing. I didn't do anything to her, nor did I try." Hatori stared straight at him. "It's the truth. Listen, I saw her, I followed her, and yes, I grabbed her. I don't know what I was thinking, but that's what I did. And she was frightened, terrified, to a degree I found disturbing, actually. Even considering the situation." His friend pondered this. "I supposed it was her subconsciousness."

"That's most likely it. Assuming you're being honest." Shigure had no answer to this. "I'm going to bed."

Shigure stood back to let Hatori pass, but suddenly, the taller man forcefully grabbed his collar and pushed him against the door frame, emanating rage. "Hurt her again Shigure, and Hippocrates will forgive me. I just might have to kill you, but he'll forgive me."

His shock subsided, and Shigure matched his cousin's gaze. "Hatori, if I have to look at her face hurt like that again, I just might have to kill myself." Hatori let him go slowly, and left the room, pausing at the foot of the stairs.

"How am I supposed to know? Hm?" He exhaled heavily. "There's a kid up there and I don't know if it's safe for her to be around you, because I don't know _you_. I don't know anything about you." He left.

Back in the present, Shigure flipped through his book, searching. He sighed. "I feel that way too sometimes, Marce Aurelie." He turned a few more pages, before giving up and closing the book. "Which one am I, I wonder? Quis sum?"

"_I just don't know. I'm so sorry. I just – I'm afraid. I'm afraid of you. Because that other person is gone and this one is here now instead. And I don't know anything about him or what he wants or what he's going to do. And . . . . ._

_I'm so sorry._

_But I am afraid."_

**Notes:**

**Somehow, I can't help but think that Shigure would be good at languages, so excuse the liberties I took. (This _is_ fanfiction).**

**Hippocrates was a Greek doctor, the "Father of Medecine" who is credited with drawing up the Hippocratic Oath. Many medical student today still take this oath or an oath very similar to it, in which they swear, among other things, to "prescribe regimens for the good of my patients . . . . and never do harm to anyone." (Btw, contrary to popular belief, the phrase "Do no harm" is not present in the Oath).**

**Marce Aurelie is Marcus Aurelius, but Shigure is using the vocative case in this instance.**


	6. Animus Fratri, Amici, Hostis

**Sorry for taking so long. I had tests and writer's block. As a matter of fact, I intended to make this chapter longer to make it up to you, but sigh, writer's block again. I split the chapter because of one detail I can't make up my mind about. I have two scenarios and I can't decide which one to use . . . oh well, review replies.**

**N. James The Diehard DishRag; Did you . . . read my profile or something, because you put down my uber-favourite pairings in your review! girlish squeal They're great! I agree, a triangle would be fun, but that's not what I'm going for. Thank you for your review!**

**cm1000; Sorry, I'm going to have to ignore the questions. Just for now, though. They will be answered. Oh dear, here goes. Ignores But keep speculating, please, I really love that! Thank you.**

**demon thing; Thank you for your review, and happy hunting for other enjoyable FB fics. **

**crystalfeathers; Thank you for always reviewing my story, it's really nice to know you like it.**

**Azure Teriques; Yay, thank you!**

**Nya, I recently learned the word "asportation", and I wanted an excuse to use it. Realises . . . Um, no, I didn't make up this fanfiction as an elaborate premise to use new vocabulary. --;; Really, it just a coincidence that the plot is so conveniently centered around asportation . . . . . . . **

**Asportation – the physical movement of objects or people. The definition of "kidnapping" demands an element of asportation of the person to be present, thereby distinguishing the crime from other forms of unlawful detention.**

**Chapter 6. Animus Fratri, Amici, Hostis **

Tohru had easily gone back to sleep, exhaustion overcoming any remaining curiosity or apprehension, and by the time she woke again, the weak, winter sun was streaming through the gaps in the sliding panelling over her window. Understandably, she was worn out, and she drifted in and out of consciousness as if under and over the surface of water. She rested easily, and her recuperating form was lax upon the bed.

The first time she became fully aware of her surroundings, she briefly wondered where in the world she was, with that feeling so common the first few nights one wakes up after moving house. The memory at once returned, and a small undercurrent of nervousness nestled just outside her thoughts. Tohru raised herself up into a sitting position and wrapped her thin arms around her knees. _I wonder what I should do, Okaa-san? Should I wait here? Or go downstairs? _A fear of displeasing her asportators prickled at her slightly, but she did her best to dismiss it. _They promised. It's rude of me to fear them when they're going to the trouble of making me feel at ease, when they really don't have to. For kidnappers, they really did their best to keep me from being afraid._

Tohru's thought's turned to wondering about these two mysterious men. _They're criminals, I suppose, and Otoji-san speaks a lot about those but they just seem so kind. They don't seem like any of the people Otoji-san ever mentioned. They haven't at all harmed me, not in the least._

Tohru remembered though, how familiar Shigure-san behaved towards her. _He kissed me_, she reminded herself. She wondered if she should be worried. Otoji-san had warned her before about paedophiles and so forth, but, thinking about it, all of Shigure-san's motions seemed . . . . . friendly, rather than insistent. Somehow, whatever it was about him or Hatori that was frightening her, she was sure that that wasn't it. _Surely, if either of them wanted to do something like that, they would have already? Maybe? Anytime they wanted to they could, after all – _she gasped, and shudders ran through her again. She suddenly felt very small, very exposed.

_I have stop thinking like this. Didn't Okaa-san tell me not to be too mistrusting? I'm being very rude to Shigure-san and Hatori-sensei, and I'll only make more trouble for them if I keep acting like this. _Tohru looked at her surroundings. _I've been well taken care of and this is how I repay them. Certainly, I'm still nervous, but I have no idea why. There's no reason to be. I just need to stay positive and trust that everything will work out fine._

_. . . . . . . That's not the whole truth of it though, is it? _A nasty voice seemed to whisper in her mind. Tohru hugged herself reflexively. "It's alright," she whispered. "It's alright." The sun seemed a little less bright, somehow, and the world more big and threatening. "It's alright. It's alright. It's alright," she whispered again and again, like a mantra.

Picking a very inopportune time, her empty stomach sent a pang of hunger through her. Tohru remembered that she hadn't eaten since breakfast yesterday. She had been too busy at work to remember to have lunch, and yesterday's cicumstances had taken the opportunity to dine from her. Deciding that now was as good a time as any, she pulled herself out of bed and picked some clothes out of the wardrobe. A lock on the door allayed her fear some more, and when she had changed into a blue skirt and a yellow long-sleeved top that was somewhat too big for her, she quietly left to go downstairs.

Poor Tohru was mired with indecision when she reached the top of the stairs, however. _Maybe I should just wait in the room. What if they're busy and I interrupt? Ooh, I'm not sure how to behave in this situation._

"Honda-kun."

She spun around to see Hatori coming down the landing towards her. His hair and clothes were, amazingly, impeccably tidy, as if he'd spent the night sleeping while standing up. "Oh, ano, good morning, Hatori-sensei. You surprised me."

"It runs in the family, I guess." _That might be true_, thought Tohru.

"Hatori-s . . . oh, ano . . ." Tohru's words stumbled and disappeared.

Hatori looked down at her with that direct, intimidating stare of his. "Is something the matter, Honda-kun?"

"Oh n-no, really, thank you, I just, that is," her eyes kept returning to that powerful gaze and darting away. Under such a gaze what she wanted to say sounded frivolous and stupid.

"Yes?"

Growing more nervous, she decided to take a plunge. "I-is it alright, if it's alright with you, may I call you, Hatori . . . -san? If I may." Her head fell with her diminishing voice. _Please don't be angry._

"I'd be very happy." Not daring to believe her luck, Tohru looked up and saw a small smile on Hatori's normally stoic features. Elation rose in her and she beamed, then bowed, "Thank you, thank you so much, Hatori-san."

"Not at all." Secretly, he was glad to see her smile again. It was the happiest he'd seen her so far. But he was otherwise occupied as well. He frowned, and the girl almost dropped her eyes again. "Are you feeling alright, Honda-kun? You look pale."

Tohru waved her arms in a small frenzy. "Oh no, I'm feeling fine. I'm just a little hungry that's – oh. Th-that's not to say that . . . . . ." She faded again, the exposed feeling returning in part as long as Hatori stared at her, but he didn't give much thought to this for two reasons. First, he was too used to the effect he had on most people, and second, he was busy assessing her appearance. She did look pale – too pale – and even after her rest her posture was wan, and she looked as if she'd fall over if he blew hard enough.

The girl was growing more and more uncomfortable, but she didn't dare stirr or break the silence. It was as if she had been smothered. "What did you eat yesterday, Honda-kun?"

First Tohru was confused by the odd question. Then she suddenly felt she had something to hide. "A-ano, um, I don't really understand."

"Did you eat lunch?" Some undertone in Hatori's voice told Tohru not to lie.

"I forgot," she mumbled.

He nodded once. "And you didn't have dinner yesterday either." The girl forgot to have lunch? Anything can be taken to an unhealthy degree, the doctor supposed. Even altruism. "Let's go downstairs and get breakfast." Hatori started down the stairs, but stopped several steps down and turned back. "Just wondering, but why did you want to call me Hatori-san?"

Tohru suddenly became very interested by her feet. "Somehow it . . . . felt better than sensei. Hatori-san feels better than Hatori-sensei, for some reason." Hatori nodded again and turned back down the stairs. "Where is Shigure-san?"

Hatori stopped in front of the living room door, heaved a sigh, and slid it open by way of an answer. Tohru peered inside and sure enough, there was Shigure, sitting back on the couch, asleep. _The Rise and Fall _was still on the coffee table in front of him. Hatori had no need to survey the scene, but Tohru put 2 and 2 together and ended up with 5. "Oh no! Hatori-san!" she exclaimed as quietly as it is possible to "exclaim" something, for fear of waking him. "Was I sleeping in Shigure-san's bed?!"

_Oh, heaven forbid_. "No Honda-kun. It's fine. Shigure just fell asleep down here." He began leading her to the kitchen. "He's spent more nights of his life asleep on open books than in a bed. He's been that way since we were children."

"Oh. That sounds sweet." Hatori glanced at her. "I mean, it's rare, you know? For children to be that enthusiastic about books. I know I wasn't!"

"Well I wouldn't try it if I were you. There's a reason Shigure has glasses, you know? Night after night of his childhood reading under his covers with a torch."

"But shouldn't we wake him?"

Inwardly moved by her compassion for a person she knew only as her kidnapper, Hatori apathetically leaned against the counter and equally apathetically said, "He'll have a pretty bad crick in his neck if he stays that way."

Tohru gasped. "I'll go wake him now!"

The doctor looked shocked at this. "But he'll have a pretty bad crick in his neck if he stays that way."

"Ode?"

"Honda-kun, I'll get breakfast ready. Will miso and rice be alright?"

It took a short while for Tohru to catch up with the conversation, but once she did, she was frenzied. "Ehhh??!! Ha-Hatori-san is going to cook?" Then, she protested meekly and quietly, as if ashamed by her outburst, "I can't let Hatori-san do all that. I have to help."

"There's no need." Hatori began, but Tohru was implacable.

"N-no, please, I-I couldn't. I've already been so much trouble, and I disturbed Shigure-san last night and h-he, that is – "

"Honda-kun, You have _no _obligation to us." It came out harsher than Hatori intended. He stopped when he realised the effect he was having.

Her head was bowed, making her eyes invisible. "Please. I . . . don't want to trouble you more than I already have. I'm already being a terrible burden. Please let me make it up to you, just a little bit. I . . please let me help." She kept her eyes downcast, as if weighed down by shame.

"You're never a burden . . . . Honda-kun."

Tohru's head rose ever so slightly, but she didn't look directly at Hatori. "Ha-Hatori-san shouldn't say such things, even though it's very kind."

"It's not kindness. It's the truth." Tohru face looked disbelieving and moved. "If you want to help, you can, but don't feel you have to."

"Ano, I _want _to, Hatori-san, please."

"Alright, then."

Tohru and Hatori began to make the breakfast together. Tohru was quiet, and followed all Hatori's instruction industriously (though he didn't give her many, as he knew most were redundant). Hatori kept a watchful eye on her behaviour, as Shigure's claim that she was acting differently stayed with him. Granted, she was indeed behaving very meekly, and seemed (more so) in fear of reproach but the doctor wondered how much of this should be put down to the fact that, she was indeed, in a very stressful and frightening situation. Pronounced fear, Hatori knew, could have many varying effects on people's behaviour. For now, perhaps Tohru was still being very cautious. _It's still seems rather extreme. She's usually so trusting, naïve even._

Hatori sighed unobtrusively as he stirred the soup. It wasn't pleasant to have a person like Tohru fear him. Especially considering how completely harmless and gentle she was. Hatori remembered the first time she had come to the Main House to see him. She had been nervous, of course, but Hatori was used to people being nervous around him. When he'd realised the extent to which the thought of him erasing her memories had frightened her though, he had been . . . . he wasn't sure if "ashamed" was the right word. Awed? Moved? He was moved by the compassion she'd shown him, and everyone, by wanting to keep those memories, and the tears she cried for him. And for his "kindness", as she believed it.

"Hatori-san?" He turned to see her face cautiously but concernedly scanning his. "Are you ok?" There it was again. She must have noticed him cease his activity over the soup. Of course, those innocent eyes spilled concern for his sake. And of all things, this amazing creature was holding a box of rice. He smiled at her, and though she didn't really understand, she smiled, too, and loaded the rice cooker. He was happy. She was looking happier and more relaxed than he'd seen her so far, a small smile and concentrated frown intermittently appearing on her countenance.

As she was working, Tohru toyed with the idea of starting a conversation with Hatori-san. She didn't really know much about him yet. She was still worried about disturbing him or seeming frivolous, but did her best to remind herself of how kind Hatori had been and plucked up her courage. "Ano, Hatori-san?" He glanced in her direction. "Have you and Shigure-san always been good friends?"

"Good friends?" He meditated for a few moments. "Hmm, I don't really know. Sometimes I'm not sure what we are to each other."

"What do you mean?"

Hatori's eyes stayed on the soup. "When we were kids, sure, Shigure and I were very close. We're the same age after all. But there were . . . . other circumstances we shared. And Ayame, of course."

Tohru politely didn't inquire about these _circumstances_, but she was curious about this other person. "Ayame-san? Who is she?"

"He's another friend of ours." He didn't pause to accept an apology for her mistake. "Well, he's stayed the same, for the most part, since we were children. He's foolish and doesn't think things through most of the time, but it's not because he's a bad person himself. Not at all. He just has a genuinely hard time understanding what others are thinking. Ayame himself is . . . . a good person."

"I'm sure he must be, Hatori-san. Just like you and Shigure-san."

Hatori sighed. "Shigure is . . . . complicated. Over time, he's changed. Slowly. Well, changed mightn't even be the right word. Shigure has a lot of different sides to him, and he shows each in an appropriate and advantageous situation. And there are . . ." he paused. "There are many which I don't like at all. Some I'd go so far as to say I hate."

Tohru was quelled by this. "But, surely there are sides you like, too?"

"Hah. Yes. The problem is that I can never figure out which one is the real one."

She paused again. "They . . . . are all real. The good ones and the bad ones. Everyone has good sides and bad sides, I'm sure. And you can't get rid of either type. That's why you can't get rid of bad things. But you can't get rid of good things either. All that's important is that you try to bring out the good sides as much as possible. So . . so just the fact that they're there in Shigure is proof that there's a good person there."

Hatori thought. _Damn Shigure_. This was the trust he had abused. Even if Hatori spoke semi-openly about Shigure's _unworthier _characteristics, Tohru kept giving him to benefit of the doubt. He turned off the heat, as the soup was ready, with a brisk, annoyed movement. "Hatori-san? Have I made you angry? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so audacious."

Alarmed, he turned to reassure her, but unexpectedly found her quite close to him. Tohru was surprised, and jumped back, dropping the bowls she had been carrying. They fell to the floor and shattered. Hatori's eyes rested on the pile of fragments, until he raised his head to Tohru. "Honda-kun, I apologise. Are you – Honda-kun?"

Tohru's eyes were fixed on the mess on the floor, her relieved hands were quivering by her sides, and she had turned even paler. "Honda-kun?" She began retreating backwards, never taking her eyes of the white mass of shards. Perplexed, Hatori started towards her. "Honda-kun, are you alright?"

She bumped against the wall, her eyes unmoving, taking in deep breaths which were rattled by her fear-filled body. She opened her mouth and in a rasping whisper, said "I'm sorry, Hatori-san. I'll clean it up, I will. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Please don't . . ." She closed her eyes and shook her head, whispering, "No, I won't say that, I shouldn't say that."

Hatori's pupils dilated and expanded again in an instant. _Those words._

"_Hatori-san." Her eyes shone with tears and she backed away. "Hatori-san, please don't. Please don't, I – " she cut herself off with a gasp. She hung her head. "No, I won't say that. I can't, shouldn't! Hatori-san I – I'm sorry!"_

Hatori's stern face softened. "They're just bowls, Honda-kun. I don't mind. I'm not angry with you." She looked as if she was expecting a thrashing. And the worst thing was that she was in such a position, her head bowed, her arms down at her sides, that she appeared totally submissive to him, should he move to harm her. She wouldn't resist. _I have hurt you already though, haven't I? So can I expect anything else? Do I deserve any other treatment? _

He didn't know what to do, though. He couldn't approach her without making her retreat even further into herself. He scanned his memory for the rudimentary psychology he had been given in conjunction with his studies. _Patients who are ill at ease. "Hah hah! Maybe if you weren't so scary they wouldn't be ill at ease, Haa-san!" _That was probably true, too, even though Shigure hadn't meant harm by it. Hatori loked up, to see that Tohru hadn't moved. He turned and bent down to pull a dustpan and brush from the cupboard and slowly swept up the broken bowls. It wasn't long before Tohru noticed, and she was horrified. She hastily "No, Hatori-san! Don't please. It isn't necessary! Please let me do it."

"Because it was your fault?" Hatori didn't take his eyes off his sweeping job.

"Y-yes."

"Wrong answer. It wasn't your fault. It was just an accident." He stood and emptied the dustpan into the bin.When he turned back, Tohru was looking off to one side, perplexed and confused. Her eyes were glazed with shining tears, though they had yet to fall.

"Oooh, man, I've got a crick in my neck." Shigure ungracefully appeared at the door, his messy hair messier than usual, rubbing his eyes and neck.

"A _pretty bad _one, would you say?" prompted Hatori.

"Yeah, that's it, I've a pretty bad crick in my neck."

Hatori sighed. "Shigure, when are you going to – "

"It was worth it." Shigure waved away Hatori's reprimand and noticed Tohru (who had been standing still, mired in confusion, during this entire exchange) for the first time. "Ah, Tohru-kun, I didn't expect you to be up already." He ruffled her hair. "Ohayo, koi." Tohru blushed.

Hatori snorted in contempt. "Now is _really _not the time."

"That wasn't the intention, Haa-san." Tohru's eyes darted from one to the other, not sure now if they were angry with each other or just being familiar. Shigure's head was tilted, and he held an indifferent expression. Hatori simply looked stern as always. "Anyway, I heard something break. Everything ok?"

"Ah! Good morning, Shigure-san." (Tohru remembered that she hadn't greeted him yet) "Yes, it's alright, Hatori-san was kind enough to clear away the bowls. Oh! But were you woken?! I'm sorry, it was really my fault, you see I –"

"Hah! You have no idea how much I missed that. Stolen moments of respite forever doomed to be shattered by crashes and dosas and so forth. Hah hah!"

"Umm . . . ."

Tohru couldn't follow him at all, and before she really knew what was going on, she was ushered to the table and she, Hatori, and Shigure sat down for breakfast. Tohru observed the differences between the two with interest. They were complete opposites in so many ways. Shigure flopped contentedly down, but Hatori sat with more restraint. Shigure was so animated most of the time, and Hatori was reticent and reserved. _They're almost like an older and younger brother, Okaa-san._

"_Some I'd go so far as to say I hate."_ The words flooded her mind again. _What did he mean? _Another difference between Hatoriand Shigure occurred to her. Hatori was a constant, and consistent – how he was was how he always was, but Shigure kept on shifting and . . . _changing sides. _She looked up from her breakfast to Shigure. He stopped eating and smiled at her. "Yes?"

"Ah-ah, oh nothing – "

"Oh!" Shigure slapped his forehead lightly. "That's right, we need to call your family after breakfast."

Tohru gasped. "Ojii-san! Yes, I have to tell them they don't need to worry!"

"Sure."

After breakfast, Tohru offered to wash up, and the two men, unable to convince her _not _to, were forced to concede and leave her in the kitchen. "Gives us a chance to talk, anyway," said Shigure, once they were back in the living room and a closed door was between them and Tohru. "Well, we discussed this already. You have to make the call or they'll recognise my voice. Are you . . . . ok with that?" He scanned Hatori's one visible eye, but his cousin merely shrugged. "Maa, I'd better put away my things."

Shigure grabbed the other bag Tohru had seen the previous night and left. "And comb your hair!" Hatori added. He sighed. _What am I going to do? _Hatori felt for a cigarette and lighter in his pocket, lit one, and took a long drag. Glancing once at the door concealing Tohru, with a heavy step, he followed Shigure up the stairs.

The other man was in his room, bent over his bag, pulling different items out. He didn't cease or make any reaction to Hatori's presence, other than to casually ask, "Yes?"

"You heard those bowls break." Shigure paused, but didn't turn around, patiently awaiting elaboration. "When that happened, Honda-kun became very frightened. She paled, and trembled and backed away. Frightened doesn't even cover it. She was terrified. And," he paused, measuring the effect of his next words. "She said to me, exactly what she said that night. The night I surpressed her memories. Almost word for word."

Shigure kept working. "That was how she was behaving in the side-street, am I correct, Shigure?"

"Yes. So, is there any particular reason you're telling me this?" He was still working, not facing Hatori at all.

"I need to warn you. Be careful. I had no idea her subconscious memories of us could produce so great an effect, even coupled with existing fear of us as the men who kidnapped her, and if it can, then . . ." Hatori stopped, and sighed. "I don't want her to suffer like that again."

Shigure was finished. He stood, still facing away. The smirk on his face was audible, if not visible. "So, you can't even stand a reflection, a tangible_ image _of a painful memory. Why? Why did you do those things in the first place if you weren't sure you could bear the results. If you couldn't look straight at them and shrug them off. Aren't you the cold one, after all?" Hatori said nothing, _could _say nothing. It was if he was frozen by the sheer iciness of Shigure's voice and words. "Haven't you made yourself such to be able to execute your art? Why did you do that to her if you weren't able to bear that tear-streaked face, or those frightened eyes? If they would only haunt you?" Silence. "I know you. I know what's going on in your mind. And you're a fool. It's been so many years and you still can't handle it. These are your sins and this is your burden, but you just can't get used to it."

Hatori steeled. "I was presented with no other choice."

"Heh. Do you know who you remind me of?" In all this time, Shigure never turned. The Dragon's eyes widened, no response sufficient towards this harsh, cold demeanor in front of him. Shigure heard him leave, and finished his work, saying to himself with mild surprise,

"You left? Haa-san, I wasn't talking to you."

**Notes:**

**Ayame is a girl's name. It means "Rainbow Woman" **

**The story of how Shigure got his glasses is . . . . my story of how I got mine (heredity was a factor too, but I definitely didn't help myself!). I love books!**


	7. Felis Infelix

**Sorry for taking so long!!! (Here are the belated review replies.)**

**Blaze83; Blaze is my middle name, actually! Hey there, kindred spirit! Thank you for the review, I do indeed hope nobody is OOC.**

**cm1000; Thank you, thank you very much. Hooray for character contrasting!**

**Veronica Buckland; Thank you very much for reviewing.**

**N. James The Diehard Dishrag; Thank you! And no, it's not weird. For a while, I was reading more fanfiction than books, but now they're about even. It's a phase, a phase. lol. And I'll explain Ayame's name. Phonetically, the word "ayame" does indeed mean "iris", but neither of the kanji (picture symbols) used to spell Ayame's name mean that. His name is spelt Ayarainbow and mewoman. It's the same with Yuki. Although his name phonetically means "snow", the kanji used to spell his name have a different meaning. Yureason and Kihope. So, YukiReason for hope. And as for the last part, Shigure was talking to himself. Yeah, I know he's acting really weird, but it will be explained.**

**demon thing; Another kindred spirit. I'm the same way.**

**crystalfeathers; Yes, the story's . . . . mired in despair for a while. But all in due time, all in due time.**

**Chapter 7. ****Felis Infelix**

"Let me guess. Tell sensei you _forgot _something and have to go home." Sharp, dark eyes scanned softer dark eyes. "Am I right?"

The other girl's mouth had opened to say something, but she had been cut off by her relative. Isuzu was an impressive sight, with her quick, omniscient eyes and added height of her high-heeled shoes. Kagura shook her head a little. "Please Isuzu? I just want to – "

"Kagura. I get it, but you can't keep torturing yourself over Kyo. You'll destroy yourself. Besides, you can't cut class. You're not _me_. People will _notice_." Kagura lowered her head and stared at the concrete pavement, which at the time seemed a faithful representation of the world. Hard and cold and colourless. The two young women were walking together to their high school, and dying leaves accompanied one's dying hopes. Isuzu looked away and glared for a few moments, before turning back to the other. "Kagura, I don't want you to go back to the Main House for a while."

Her head shot up, and her easily-overlooked adamance steeled her for an argument. "What?"

"Look, it's just too dangerous right now. Akito is itching to use any excuse to showcase his authority, I can feel it, and if you got hurt, think what that'd do to your mom. Think what it'd do to Kyo." _Urgh, I'm not good at this and never will be._ Kagura fingered her cat backpack absent-mindedly. "And aside from that," added Isuzu, a bitter taste settling on her palette. "I think I saw Gure-nii snooping around there yesterday." A frown settled on her cousin's face. "I didn't say anything cause I wasn't sure."

Kagura's fist clenched. Under other circumstances, Isuzu was sure, she'd be fighting her alter ego right now. "I don't give a damnabout Shigure_-san_."

"He might be a proverbial son of a bitch, Kagura, but he's clever. Whatever he was doing there yesterday, I don't want you getting mixed up in it, got it?" Every fibre of her being screamed in anger at the thought of the man. "Whatever advantage you believe you have over Akito, remember, the Dog is no longer on a leash. He's free to do whatever he wants. And free, I trust him less than I did when . . . hmph. Well, I never trusted him. But when he was bound by the curse he was at least _limited_. Now I don't know what to expect from him. But it'll be good for one person and one person only. Himself."

Isuzu was now seething in herself. _I hate him. If there is a just God, then there must also be a hell where people like him can rot. _"Do you think . .?" The tall beauty snapped her head back to Kagura, and was surprised to see that her angry face had been replaced by one of contemplation. "Do you think he really is unbound, though? Do you think he is free of Akito? After all, I . ." she lowered her head, a note of sadness entering her voice.

Isuzu broke in abruptly. "No! The scenarios don't compare. Not even close."

"But Shigure-san is free to do whatever he wants now as well, isn't he? Supposedly. If the curse is gone, why doesn't he just . . . . throw us away? Why did he go to the Main House at all?"

"I don't know." The other gritted her teeth in frustration. "I don't know, but that only makes me more wary. There's only one tie aside from the Curse that can pull Gure-nii back to Akito's side, and that is personal advantage. Nothing else. No-oneelse."

"I know. I do know that. Now." Kagura's voice sank into sad meditation. Isuzu listened with barely contained rage. His betrayal had come as a particular shock to Kagura, who had never detected a hint of his true nature beforehand. It must have hurt her greatly.

She had stopped calling him "Shii-chan".

But please, I have to see Kyo-kun, please!" All of a sudden, Kagura bubbled over with previously restrained emotion. (Isuzu ruefully suspected it was because of her upset over Shigure's treachery.) "Please! I can't leave him in that horrible place!" She was on the verge of tears at this point. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Kagura pleaded again, "I'll be careful, I will."

She sighed as they approached the school. This couldn't be helped. "Fine. But you're not allowed to cut class. We'll go later on, got it, you idiot?!"

* * *

Tohru held her hands together and fiddled with her fingers. From her perch on the couch, she watched Hatori dialling the number she had given him and wait for an answer. Shigure was standing by the door, an unreadable expression on his face.

He and Hatori had barely looked at each other since they came downstairs.

"Hello, this is the Honda residence, correct? Honda-san, my name is Hatori Yamamoto. I'm calling because I and my cousin have kidnapped your granddaughter . . . . . . Yes, I assure you . . . . . Yes. Of course. Honda-kun?" He held the receiver out to her, and she left the couch and tup-tupped over to take it. "Shigure and I will leave you now. Take as much time as you need."

"Th-thank you, Hatori-san." The two men left the room and respectfully shut the door. Tohru took a deep breath. "Hello?" she began choppily.

"Tohru-chan?"

"Ojii-san, is that you?" Tohru breathed out, and her anxiety poured out of her in that breath. She was elated to hear the kindly voice of the old man.

"Yes it's me, my dear." He suddenly cut himself short. "Oh! Stop it Otoji! I'm not going to have a heart attack because of a phone call!"

"Ojii-san?"

"Don't worry, it's just your cousin. I don't think he wants me in this stressful situation." Her grandfather spoke wryly about his grandson's paranoia, as the old man saw it (he didn't like being treated like glass, but then, who would?), before his tone changed to one of urgency. "But Tohru, tell me, are you alright?"

"Yes Ojii-san."

"You aren't hurt at all?"

"No! No, I'm fine!" Tohru shook her head vigorously, forgetting that he couldn't see her. "Hatori-san and Shigure-san haven't hurt me, and they've been taking good care of me, really!"

"Hm." Tohru could almost hear the smile in her grandfather's voice, and all of a sudden, an ache took root in her. She missed him. She was sorry for getting herself into this, and causing him to worry. "Are you frightened, Tohru?"

"Don't worry about me Ojii-san! You mustn't worry! Please, I'm fine."

"I'll worry. I have the duty to worry about you, Tohru."

"Ojii-san . . . . ."

He broke off. "Oh, yes of course. Tohru dear, Otoji wants to talk to you. Is that ok?"

"Yes, certainly."

A muffled rattle came from the Hondas' end of the line as the phone was passed to Tohru's older cousin. "Tohru-chan." Otoji was frank and business-like in his tone. He was trained for this sort of situation, after all. "Have these two men hurt you or done anything improper to you?"

"No."

"Are you sure? Tell the truth, Tohru-chan."

"Yes, I'm sure. They've been very kind." His silence spoke of doubt. "I-it's true!" Tohru fumbled with her own words. "When I had a nightmare last night, Shigure-san was kind enough to help make me feel better. And they've even left the room right now to give us privacy, s-so if there was anything . . anything bad, I could tell you now . . . if there was."

He exhaled loudly. "Why do you keep on getting yourself into these situations?"

"Th-these . . ? I don't – "

"Cut that out!" he hissed. "I honestly wonder how you must be behaving that you walk into a ménage-à-trois if we take our eyes off you for ten minutes! Do you have any idea what a disgrace you are to us?" Tohru honestly had no idea what he was talking about, but she understood that she was being scolded, and she didn't dare answer back. Right there, right then, she was on the verge of tears. "I want to speak to the man, Tohru-chan. Please give him the phone."

"Yes, Otoji-san." Tohru wiped her dry eyes fervently.

"And Tohru-chan . . . . remember what I told you," he said sharply. "Understand?"

Tohru swallowed. A large lump in her throat hindered her speech for some time. "Y-yes, I-I will, Otoji-san." Tohru lowered the receiver, visibly shaken. She placed a hand over her racing heart, and she took a few deep breaths to steady herself before she entered the kitchen, where Hatori and Shigure were waiting; Hatori next to the door, and Shigure leaning against the counter. She raised her head the considerable distance necessary to meet Hatori's eyes. "Ano, Hatori-san, Otoji-san wants to speak to you again."

He left again, and Tohru was about to follow him when she noticed Shigure, who hadn't moved at all, staring at her. He wasn't even blinking, and his eyes seemed glazed over with thought, and his hand was resting on his chin. Tohru was discomfited to say the least. "Shi . . . gure-san?"

He blinked and shook his head lightly, the mist clearing from his brown eyes. They rested on her, and an easy smile graced his features again. "Let's follow Haa-san, ne?" Again, he had shifted.

Hatori picked up the phone again, and Tohru sat onto the couch, lost in thought.

"Yes? Hatori Yamamoto again."

"Yamamoto-san, if you desire, although I assume it's a pseudonym?"

"Correct." _He's good_, thought Hatori.

"Why did you kidnap my cousin? What do you want?"

"We don't want anything. We only want to keep her here for a while." Tohru's attention was piqued by this. She kept her eyes fixed on her lap, but hung on every word Hatori spoke.

"How long? For what?"

"A few days or weeks. I don't really know. I can't tell you why, either, but I will assure you, we had no other choice." Tohru's cousin was silent. Hatori was quite sure he'd never encountered _this_ situation before. "Honda-san, for what it's worth, I promise we will not hurt her."

"My name isn't Honda," he said as an afterthought. "That was my mother's maiden name, and my uncle's name. Tohru-chan's . . ." He trailed off. Hatori's brow furrowed in contemplation. He had never heard much about Tohru's father. He wondered if this man missed him. Otoji seemed to give himself a mental shake for straying into unnecessary details, and suspicion was evident in his tone when next he spoke. "So, there's nothing else? No "do this or else" or "don't do that or else"?"

"No. I'm not going to demand anything."

"And the police? Any requests in regards to them?"

Hatori sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You can call them if you wish, but it will be a waste of time. They won't find us." He remembered asking Shigure what he should say about the police, or what they'd do if the Hondas called them. Shigure had just smiled darkly and said, _Tell them to do what they like. They won't find us. Trust me._ Exactly how Shigure could be so certain, he didn't know.

"Hm." Tohru's cousin was once again silent. "Then there is one last thing. I'm sure you appreciate what a vulnerable position you've placed Tohru-chan in. And so – "

"Don't worry. Nothing will compromise her safety."

"Very well." Hatori wondered at the _apathetic _manner Otoji had voiced his concerns about Tohru. Otoji answered, "You're a strange man, Yamamoto-san." He didn't say anything more for a while. "Well . . . . we're all already late. I suppose we'll have to go."

"Do you want to speak with her again?" Hatori noted the uncomfortable silence. He had never had any dealings with the Hondas, but the sketchy details of them given by Yuki and Kyo in the past were none too flattering. It took a while for Hatori to realise that Tohru's cousin had hung up. He hung up. _He hung up_. _That's not right_. Hatori set the receiver down in a measured fashion, somehow disgusted. _That's not how it should be_. _Why would he? _

"Well, that's over." Hatori and Tohru, who had both been lost in thought, turned to a nonchalant Shigure. "Tohru-kun, you don't mind if we kick you out of here for a while, do you?"

"Oh, no, of course not." She bowed to excuse herself (even though Shigure was the one who asked her to leave), and went back upstairs to her room.

Hatori opened his mouth . . . . and had the words taken right out of it. "He hung up," said Shigure. Hatori nodded. "Don't worry about him too much. All he cares about is whether Tohru-kun ends up impregnated or something and disgraces the family. Yeah, yeah," he waved a hand in dismissal. "It wouldn't even be her fault if that happened, but those people seem to get a kick out of making everything her responsibility."

"Maybe because it's so easy. But I'm more worried about Honda-kun." Shigure inspected his own nails. Hatori was annoyed at his apathy, (and he was already annoyed just by having to speak to the man so soon after that icy exchange upstairs), but he persevered. "If I noticed, you definitely did too. She's upset."

Shigure smile was only a _little_ wicked. "I have an idea".

With that he left, followed by an exasperated Hatori who watched him climb half-way up the stairs. _What are you doing, Shigure?_ "Tohru-kun!" he called. The girl appeared quickly at the top of the stairs, but before she could get a word in Shigure asked a very confusing question.

"Are you familiar with that game where you fall back and trust the person behind to catch you?"

Twenty minutes later, a bewildered, blind-folded Tohru was being led by the hand outside. _"It's a take on that game," Shigure said. "What you do is trust the two eccentric child-abductors enough to let them blind-fold you and lead to Kami-sama-knows-where."_ She had been too confused to protest.

And now her hand was firmly grasped by Shigure's (Hatori was bringing up the rear), and though she couldn't see anything, she could feel the slope of the ground. They were going up, wherever they were going.

It seemed very quiet, and Tohru was sure there wasn't another person around for quite some distance. She couldn't hear cars or any other sound of civilisation, and of course there was the indefinable sense of solitude that comes from not being near to other humans. All she could hear was the frail twitters of birds, and the creaking of bare tree limbs as the wind rushed through them, and, somewhere in their surroundings, the tinkling of flowing water. _I think we're in a forest, Okaa-san. It seems so remote and peaceful. It must be nice –_

"Uwaaah!" Her reverie was cut short, and she was suddenly swept up off the ground.

"Shigure," came Hatori's voice from behind them, through gritted teeth. "You should warn her before doing things like that."

Once Tohru became aware that Hatori was giving out to Shigure, and once she recovered her composure somewhat, she began blurting out assurances. "Oh, Hatori-san, it's okay, I don't mind. I-I'm okay." She was a little shaken though, and she turned her head towards the part of the blackness which she was reasonably sure concealed Shigure's face. "But, Shigure-san, why did you – " She blushed a little.

"Stream." Tohru heard the splash of water as Shigure pointedly stomped in it. "Are you coming, Haa-san?"

Hatori muttered something (thankfully) inaudible and followed suit. As soon as they had both crossed the stream he wasted no time in giving out to Shigure again. "Put her down now, Shigure."

"Ooh, you'll go bald if you worry so much, Haa-san. Anyway – " he set the dazed Tohru down and lightly grasped her hand again – "we're almost there."

Gradually Tohru felt the snapping twigs and rustling plant litter of the forest beneath her feet evanesce until grass completely replaced them. They were leaving the forest, and entering a clear area. Shigure guided her forward a little further with his hands on her shoulders. "Ok, take off the blindfold. We're here!"

Tohru reached up to pull the blindfold (a scarf) down, and gasped.

She, Hatori and Shigure were standing on a promontory overlooking a huge lake. The rolling grey clouds of the sky were reflected in its depths, as were the bare trees all around its banks and the mountains that stretched beyond it, creating an ethereal, ghost-like colour. The weak sunrays, whenever they managed to peek out through the clouds, were captured and suspended by the smooth, glass-like surface of the water, shining like diamonds.

"Not bad, ne?"

"I-it's . . . . . It's beautiful, it really, really is!!" Tohru beamed until her cheeks hurt. "It's wonderful! And the lake is so big!"

Shigure smiled. "I thought you'd like it."

She turned to him, but her eyes kept darting eagerly back to the beautiful view. "Oh, I do, I do! Thank you, thank you so, so much. I'm so happy. Thank you, thank you, I've never seen a real lake before."

Hatori caught Shigure's teasing grin. "Haven't you?" He also caught Tohru's confused face, and her hesitation to answer.

"I . . . don't think so. But – "

He approached quickly. "It's not at all strange that you haven't, though, urbanisation being what it is in this country. Many people never leave sight of civilisation in their lives." His tone was informative, but he shot Shigure an icy glare over Tohru's head.

Shigure took it in stride. "Mm, I guess. But it's a little sad too, don't you think? As if the human race is forgetting about places like this. When it's not busy destroying them," he laughed, and, one hand placed lightly on Tohru's head, said, "What would Tohru-kun like to do now?" Her beam slackened only a little when she nibbled her bottom lip. Shigure had read her like an open book. She obviously had a (barely contained, at that) request. "Don't be shy."

"W-well," Tohru began, her eyes were still darting back and forth with such comic cuteness that Shigure's cheeks hurt from fighting back laughter, and even Hatori's mouth twitched. "I wouldn't want to impose – "

Shigure looked into her eyes and said, very solemnly, very gravely, "Tell me or I'll jump into the lake."

The scene that followed needs no elaboration, and of course, Tohru docilely admitted that she wanted to walk around the lake.

* * *

Isuzu peered through the branches of the tree yet again, and angrily retreated yet again once she noticed someone down in the grounds. She wasn't in a good mood. Once Kagura had landed safely on the other side of the wall of the Sohma compound, Isuzu had come to the realisation that Kagura was on the other side of the wall of the Sohma compound, despite her earlier decision not to allow her again. "You idiot," she hissed at herself once again. The scars on her back should be warning enough of Akito's power, yet she couldn't keep Kagura out of harm's way.

It was difficult to hide in the bare tree, but her limbs were long and flexible, and she was just about able to manipulate them to keep herself fairly well concealed, and in any case, her acute sense of hearing would warn her of anyone's advance.

The compound was so quiet at this time of the cold evening that Isuzu jumped slightly in surprise upon hearing heavy footfalls approaching her fast. She surveyed her surroundings, and when she saw Kagura dashing from the direction of the Cat's prison, she was first taken aback, the furious at the girl's reckless abandonment of caution, then shocked when she noticed, as the Boar reached the wall, that she was in tears.

Isuzu leaned out, her long hair falling in front of her. "What's - " she stopped herself. She had more important things to worry about. Holding out her hand to Kagura, who had collapsed, sobbing, against the ivy, she commanded, "Kagura, get up here, quick! You'll be seen!" It was no use. Kagura was in a dreadful state. Cursing, Isuzu called again, "Get a hold of yourself! Get up here!" _No, I'll definitely never be good at this_. "Kagura!"

Kagura stood up and, to the older girl's horror, turned on her heel and ran back the way she had come. "Kagura, what are you doing?!"

"Ge – ge – get Ha-atori!" she called back, choking on her own hyperventilating breath. "Ha-have to, to, to get hi-im!"

"Kagura!!" Isuzu could only watch as the frenzied young woman receded from view, biting back the screams she wanted to release for fear of drawing attention to the scene. Using every foul word she knew under her breath, she waited only a while longer, before deciding that her cousin wasn't coming back.

_Get Hatori_. Isuzu set her teeth, glanced back one more time, and dropped out of her tree onto the Outside.

**Notes:**

**It's not important, but Hatori and Shigure's pseudonym was selected in honour of my Dad's old boss! He was a nice man, from what I hear.**

**Once again, a huge apology for taking so long.**


	8. Inter Dentes Lupi

**I forgot to add page breaks the first time around, so I quickly hopped online to touch this chapter up. I'mleaving again now, I promise!**

**Chapter 8: Inter Dentes Lupi**

"That was foolish, Shigure," Hatori began discreetly scolding his cousin once Tohru was out of earshot, crouched down between the roots of a large tree on the path ahead, admiring some flowers. Shigure didn't pretend not to know what he was talking about. But, true to form, he shrugged, dismissing the gravity of the lightly teasing question he'd asked Tohru about the lake.

"Oh, you worry too much," he said casually.

"What have I told you?" Hatori hissed angrily. "What is the matter with you?" Shigure ignored him and continued down the path. This tactic wasn't working for Hatori, so he tried another. "Do you want her memories to return?" has asked simply, frankly, quietly. "Is that part of your plan?"

Shigure stopped where he stood, his back turned to his cousin. "My plan," he answered equally simply, frankly and quietly, "is to protect her."

It was a straight answer, Hatori could give him that, albeit one he couldn't understand given Shigure's contradictory actions – past and present. So he pressed ahead with this strategy, and asked a question which had been bothering him ever since Shigure had first come to him asking for help with this (ridiculous, awful, illegal et cetera) scheme. "And Yuki? Kyo?"

"There's nothing I can do for them," he replied without hesitation. "There's nothing that can be done for any of _us_. No matter what, we're always trapped. Always. Yuki and Kyo, you. Even Kagura, Kureno, Ritsu, and me." At that, Shigure turned heel and strode deliberately down the path. Hatori watched him approach Tohru on the path ahead and kneel next to her by the tree. He engaged in a light-hearted conversation of some sort with her (he was out of Hatori's earshot), as she gestured shyly towards the tiny flowers that had managed to survive the frost thus far, nestled in the lee of the tree's roots. Hatori regarded the way his cousin had slipped easily into the role of benevolent caretaker, his solemn disposition discarded. _So what is trapping you, Shigure? What is chaining you in place of the curse? Is it truly as you say?_

Hatori scanned Tohru's innocent, young face with his one useful eye. It was wonderful to be around her again, in the presence of her refreshing tender-heartedness and purity. She was such a sweet girl. She had suffered so much, undeservedly. _Shigure, is it guilt? Is the guilt over what you did to her that's chaining you? Is that what is forcing your hand?_

Hatori wanted to believe it was so, as hard as that was. He wanted to believe that his cousin had finally been moved, the ice in his heart melted, the stone in his heart breached. He wanted to believe his cousin – his friend – had had his heart broken by the sight of that girl bruised, bleeding, crying and afraid . . . . . because if it hadn't, if Shigure had honestly been unfazed, then he was a monster.

Hatori wanted to believe that something could possible have shifted in Shigure's nature. Hatori wanted Shigure to be able to go back to the way he'd been before the world twisted him . . . or before he twisted himself for his own ends, using himself as he used others. One or the other. Hatori didn't want to believe his cousin was a monster.

_Do not forget_, he warned himself. _Do not forget what he did to her_. Hatori sighed. He may hope that Shigure was telling the truth, but his priority was Tohru. Nothing mattered more now than making sure she wasn't hurt again. He owed her that much.

So he must be on guard against Shigure.

* * *

"I'm afraid Tohru-chan is very ill right now and can't come to the phone. However I appreciate your concern."

"That bad, huh? Seriously!?" Arisa Uotani almost screamed down the phone. She was leaning against a tree in the school yard. She and Saki Hanajima had gotten off school about two hours beforehand, but Arisa had been stuck in detention with Fujita-sensei after school today (plus every day this week). She didn't remember why. She had been groping for an excuse to go outside so she could call the Honda household and check up on Tohru for the entire duration, but Fujita-sensei had been adamant. _That Fujita guy has issues . . . . ._

Upon being relieved from her temporary prison, Arisa had found Saki waiting for her on a bench, still as a statue.

_"Hey, Hana, watcha doing here?"_

_A silence followed. "I was awaiting your arrival so that when you called Tohru-chan, I would have the full details."_

_"And you didn't call her on your own phone because . . ?"_

_"The fates decided it would be in my best fortune to forgo mobile communications for today."_

_"Y'know, Hana, you can just say you forgot it like normal people."_

And so, here they both were, Saki unmoved from her position on the bench, and Arisa half-yelling down the phone at Tohru's aunt. It was now about 5:30, and Arisa was getting hungry (and, ergo, moody), and ever more concerned about Tohru. "So what the heck's up with Tohru!?" She was sure her casual speech was annoying Tohru's aunt (_tight woman_), but she didn't care. She already knew that the woman had no patience for "delinquents" such as herself. The way Arisa saw it, she'd done her best to build a new life, and she couldn't change that some people wouldn't accept that, so she didn't worry about those people.

"That is unimportant," came the testy reply. "I will tell Tohru you called, Arisa-chan, but I really do have to let you go now. I'm quite busy."

_Yeah, I bet you're busy . . . . . picking up the slack of the chores Tohru usually does_, thought Arisa bitterly. "Right. Later." She pressed the hang-up button. "What a cow. So anyway Hana, apparently Tohru's too sick to come to the phone. You buy it?"

Nothing of her stoic friend moved but her lips when she spoke. "Arisa. Something is not right. Tohru's aunt's waves are rippled with the signs of deception".

"So she's lying?," Arisa translated.

"Or not telling the whole of the truth. Either way, I believe this exchange merits some investigation."

"Yeah, let's get over there, stat! Been wanting to anyway. We haven't been over there since Tohru started living with her family again, and she's been acting weird ever since. And now all of a sudden, she's so ill she can't even get to the phone? The _cordless_ phone? Something's definitely up."

The duo began the half-hour walk to the Honda household, the looming burden of unfinished homework (due for the next day, as homework often is in inconvenient circumstances) forgotten in place of their investigation. By the time they'd arrived on Tohru's street, Saki could confirm that her familiar waves were nowhere in the vicinity. Her normally placid face crumpled in irritated confusion.

"Something the matter, Hana?"

"I sense . . . . . it's difficult to describe," she managed. "I've never felt anything like it. It's . . . . _confused_ would probably be an accurate description." She paused. "I can't really describe it, but the only analogy that comes to mind is a television tuned in between two frequencies, so that on the screen there are fragments of the picture on the channel above and the channel below, mixed with "white noise". Chaotic. The two channels are fighting for dominance".

Taking the shorter girl's power in stride, as always, Arisa looked up and down the darkened, deserted street. "Well, there's no-one here now. 'Specially not that could be causing such a hullabaloo."

Saki followed her friend's gaze, scrutinising the blackness broken at intervals by the bright pools of the street lights. "That's very strange. I must be picking up the footprints of this struggle, so to speak. But that's never happened before." She looked worried, which in turn worried Arisa. She had never seen Saki being so open with her emotions.

"Look, Hana, let's concentrate on Tohru right now, okay? Let's not think about this TV of yours until we've figures out where she is."

Saki still seemed distracted when she murmured her assent. "Still," she said, "Tohru-kun does appear to collide with unusual waves rather frequently." She industrially shook all thoughts of the footprint from her mind – if only for the moment; she would have to investigate, she felt – and turned her attention back to the Honda house. Neither of the household's two cars were in the driveway. "There are only two people inside the house as I speak. One of them is Tohru-kun's grandfather. The other is her cousin, Chinatsu."

Arisa's face fell. "Aw man, not her? Fine. At least she'll be easy to wrangle some answers out of." She cracked her knuckles. Not that she'd actually do any bodily harm to Chinatsu, but she didn't like that girl one bit. Tohru would never admit it, but Arisa had a strong feeling she wasn't as civil to Tohru as she deserved. The girls crossed to the front door in unison, and Arisa rang the doorbell impatiently. No-one answered. "Ugh. We know you're in there," she drawled, producing several more staccato rings in succession. After what seemed like an age, she heard someone approach the other side of the door and fumble with the locks. _Please not Chinatsu. Please not Chinatsu. Please not – crud. _

Chinatsu eyed the intimidating girls warily through a vigilantly small gap between the door and the frame. "Yes?" she asked rudely.

"Hey 'Natsu. We're looking for Tohru. Where is she?"

"You're that Yankee girl, right," accused Chinatsu snobbily. "Well, Tohru's not here. Goodbye." And she moved to close the door. Arisa quickly stuck her foot in, not bothered at all by the pain of the door smashing against her.

"We called earlier and were told she was too sick to get to the phone." Chinatsu glared, defeated. "'Fess up, where's Tohru?" The unpleasant girl lowered her head, allowing her hair to shield her face. This surprised Arisa, who had been prepared for more snubs and heated dismissals. Something clicked then.

"Hey," she said, in a gentle tone which belied her origins. "You been crying?"

Chinatsu angrily wiped her eyes and hissed "No." Her tone suited someone half her age. She wiped her eyes again and again, frantically racing against the tears which were gathering as she spoke with her breaking voice. "N-no." She began crying, powerless to do anything but keep her cries quiet, her stifled sobs interspersed with more denials.

Arisa was shocked. She awkwardly patted the girl's shoulder, in a weak attempt at consoling her, but her mind was racing, yet fixated on Tohru. What could be so terrible that it would reduce her cousin, who was none-too-fond of her, to tears?

Saki hadn't spoken at all during this encounter, but she now stepped forward. "I think we should come in." It wasn't a request.

Chinatsu wiped her eyes again. "I-I . . . I'm not really supposed – "

"Your mother and brother will not be back for some time." Her tone invited no argument.

And so, Chinatsu, Arisa and Saki all ended up sitting in the Honda's living room, Arisa sitting on one couch next to the former, who was shame-facedly clutching a handkerchief, and Saki sitting across from them both. From her fragmented explanations, the guests learned that Tohru's grandfather was upstairs napping. "Chinatsu," began Saki. "Where is Tohru? What has happened to her?"

She blew her nose. "I . . I'm not supposed to – "

""Not supposed to" is irrelevant. We need to know where Tohru is." Saki's voice was very quiet, yet somehow piercing and powerful – more so than if she had been bellowing.

The other girl appeared relieved to be allowed to share the burden weighing on her. She hadn't needed much persuasion before she spilled the story. "Tohru is . . . . . sh-she was . . . . . she's been kidnapped!"

Arisa was stunned and even Saki's face registered some shock. "Wh-what!? How? By who? Where have they taken her!? What do they want with her!?"

"I-I don't know!" mewled Chinatsu. "Tohru went out to work yesterday and n-never came home." She blew her nose again. "Some guy called this morning and said he and this other guy had her, but we d-don't know who they were . . . " – she hiccoughed – ". . . they w-wouldn't tell us . . . . and sh-she was talking on the phone."

Now that the initial shock had subsided, Arisa's fists clenched and her forehead sank in anger. "Is she hurt!?"

Chinatsu shook her head fervently. "She said no. She said she was fine." She struggled to get her next words out. "She said they didn't d-do anything to her."

"But?" prompted Saki, after a pause.

The girl's brown eyes shone with tears. "Ojii-san said she was scared," she said softly. She collapsed into fitful sobs again, so that Tohru's friends were only barely able to make out her words through her hyperventilation. "I-I just keep thinking about her! All the time! She's just so helpless, you know? She can't defend herself at all! She must be s-so scared and f-frightened and she's all alone. There's no-one to protect her! Wh-what if they don't feed her or, or, or beat her up or, or, or – " She was no longer able to speak. Her head was bowed onto her knees, and her breath rattled.

Her words had brought unsavoury image after even-more-unsavoury image into Arisa's mind, and she was torn between anger at the unknown assailants who had stolen her friend, and fear for her friend's welfare (which in turn served to make her angrier). "Hey, snap out of it!" she said, more unkindly that she intended. Chinatsu didn't pay any attention and continued crying. Arisa groaned and rose abruptly from the chair, her eyes blazing. "Agh, you're such a brat, you know that?"

"Arisa." Saki's eyes flicked pointedly towards Tohru's cousin, who was wiping her eyes meekly.

"I know," she said. "I know. I keep thinking about how horrible I've been to Tohru. What if I never see her again? What if I never get to apologise. It should be me in . . . . wherever she is, not Tohru."

Arisa couldn't fairly berate Chinatsu after that, but she was still angry. "So how do we get Tohru back?" she asked.

"That's the weirdest thing. The guy on the phone said they didn't want anything. They didn't want a ransom or anything like that. They just said they wanted Tohru."

"For what?" Arisa's voice was rising again.

"I've no idea." Chinatsu's voice wavered. "It's so terrible. I don't know what they're doing with her."

The blonde's fists clenched at this, unwanted images filling her head and enraging her. Dear, sweet, naïve Tohru had been snatched . . . and her fate was now entirely in the hands of the strangers who had kidnapped her, and her disaffected family, who had never seemed to care much about her. "So how are you gonna get her back?" The tall, imposing girl watched without satisfaction as the other girl flinched as she yelled.

"Arisa," said Saki again.

"Hold it, Hana," she retorted, shortly but not unkindly. "When we called here earlier your mom said Tohru was sick. She lied about this whole thing! So what are you guys doing to get her back? Have you even called the police or anything?" Saki turned a weighing gaze to Chinatsu.

"Otoji called an associate of his, a private detective."

"And why the heck did your hag of a mother lie to us!?"

They all knew the answer, in truth, or they could hazard an accurate guess. Perhaps there was some element of punishment in Arisa's pressing of Chinatsu. Perhaps she intended to force her to acknowledge the culpability of her family, and herself. Perhaps she wasn't thinking about this at all, and was just angry. Sadly and filled with obvious shame, Chinatsu bowed her head and murmured, "Okaa-san and Otoji don't want anyone to know."

The two unexpected guests both drew in a sharp breath. They had of course suspected or indeed realised this was the reason, and they had known that Tohru's family were primarily concerned by their image and reputation, but hearing it confirmed that they had truly cared more about these than their captured relative – when she was in such a uniquely dire position – only served to highlight the callousness of their behaviour. Tohru could be hurt – anything could be happening to her – and they didn't care. They just didn't care.

Chinatsu eventually broke the silence. "I'll get in trouble for telling." It was a simple, childlike statement, reminiscent of small innocent children, which didn't match the young woman.

"Uh . . . nah, don't worry. We got your back," Arisa mumbled, with none of her usual bravado.

Saki rose silently and automatically from her seat, although her friend knew she had also been deeply affected by the events which had transpired here. "We'd better leave. Your mother will be back soon." She said it with a certainty that made the other two sure she wasn't merely guessing, and so they followed suit without question.

Outside, it had begun to snow, ever so slightly. Tiny crystalline flakes floated towards the ground with an ethereal grace which belied the horrible crime the three young women were each meditating upon. Tohru's cousin meekly led the strange couple to the door, and, as they were stepping over the threshold, she hesitantly opened her mouth again. "I . . . I'm sorry. I really am. I should have been looking after her. She's so, so gullible and defenceless and all I've ever done is exploit that. And I'm sorry. She should hate me." She paused, on the verge of tears again. "But she doesn't, does she? That's what makes it so terrible."

Arisa was growing uncomfortable, and was in no state to be cheering anyone else up, but she felt she should say something, anything. So she did, as helpless as it might be. "No, she doesn't. She couldn't hate you. She's just not able to, and that's all there is to it." She laughed once in her throat and without humour. "Guess she should be the one who decides whether you get hated though, so for what it's worth, I don't either." Chinatsu looked up, surprised and somewhat vindicated. "No, I don't. Hey, thanks for telling us, ok? And most important, thanks for, you know, _caring _about her."

Chinatsu was silent for another while. "Bye," she mumbled, as she closed the door.

Exactly on cue, the car containing Tohru's aunt and her cousin Otoji appeared at the end of the street, as Saki and Arisa disappeared at the opposite end.

* * *

"That was amazing! Thank you both so much Hatori-san, Shigure-san! The lake is so beautiful, I'm so happy you showed it to me," the bubbling-over-with-glee Tohru thanked her unusual escort again, glad in spite of herself. Hatori smiled secretly as he opened the door (it was safe enough in this remote area to keep the door unlocked), and stood back, ever the gentleman, to let Shigure and Tohru into the warmth first. The day was now at a close, and the cold had intensified.

Tohru politely excused herself to tidy away her coat, gloves, et cetera upstairs in her room, while Shigure went into the kitchen to make tea for everyone (after throwing his obi and coat carelessly onto the pegs in the hall, while Hatori carefully hung up his auxiliary garments with quiet dignity). Hatori went into the living room, with a mind to finding a good book on the well-stocked shelves to read, when he noticed with some surprise that a message had been left on the answering machine while they were out on their walk.

That was odd. He hadn't given the Hondas the number, and none of the other Sohmas knew they were here. He pressed the button, and was even more surprised to hear Isuzu's frustrated voice.

"I'm looking for Hatori, you there? I've called around everywhere and no joy! Where are you, dammit!? No answer when I called your house phone, your office phone, your mobile, or Gure-nii's place! Listen, on the off chance you're at the lake house, get over to the main house and quickly! Akito's been at Kyo. Kagura found him beaten half to death and she won't leave until you get there!" He heard her sigh heavily. "He's hurt bad, Tori-nii, real bad, and if you don't get over here quickly, he could get worse, or Akito could find Kagura and do the same to her!"

The message ended as abruptly as it had started. Isuzu wasn't one for paltry greetings. Hatori deleted the message with a measured motion. "Shigure," he called, no louder than was necessary. Shigure came into the living room, carrying a cup of tea. His expression quickly matched Hatori's once he saw his solemn expression. "Shigure, Isuzu called. Kyo is injured, gravely." There was no need to name the perpetrator.

"Does she know you're here?" Shigure asked instantly.

"No, it was a message." Shigure's lack of surprise irked him. Neither man spoke for a while.

"So what are you going to do?"

The question irked Hatori further, because the answer was one he did not like. "Well, I have to go, don't I? Akito won't allow anyone else to treat him, and besides, Kyo is confined to the compound."

Shigure nodded once. "But?"

Hatori exhaled. "Did you plan this?" he asked, using the frank manner which worked best with Shigure, it seemed.

Shigure was unfazed. A shadow of a smile touched his lips. "Elaborate."

Hatori grated his teeth. "You realise the compromising position this puts me in. Kyo is wounded badly, and I won't know how badly until I get over there and treat him. But I can't leave her with you." Shigure only stared at him. "We said this before – I don't trust you with her alone, and my presence is what assures me she'll remain unharmed."

"And now, very conveniently for me if I am concocting another ignoble scheme, certain circumstances completely outside of your control have arisen which must spirit you away." Once again, Shigure managed to voice those things everyone knew but no-one wanted to hear.

"Well you don't seem very surprised," accused Hatori.

"And I'm not. I wish I was, Hatori. I wish this was the sort of family for whom this sort of terrible thing _was_ a surprise. I knew it wasn't long before Akito turned his attention to Kyo again." Hatori gave him an unwavering death glare. "I could spend forever and a day trying to convince you I didn't plan this, and that Akito and I didn't conspire to draw you away, but you'd still be suspicious of me, so why don't we skip right ahead to your decision?"

"I'm going back, and I'm taking Honda-kun with me." Without another word he stepped determinedly into the hall and pulled his coat back on. Shigure followed him and leaned on the door's frame.

"You can't take her."

"I can't leave her."

"If you take her, she'll be in danger."

"If I leave her, she'll be in danger."

"I'm not going to let you take her back, Hatori." Hatori ignored him and went up the stairs to fetch his medical bag. When he returned to the hall, Shigure was blocking the front door.

"I'm not going to let you take her," he said again.

"I didn't consult you," Hatori said coolly.

Shigure stared him dead in the eyes. "Hatori, I meant what I said, she's not safe back there. Akito – "

"Don't you dare speak to me about Akito! You have no right to speak to me about Akito, or the danger Akito poses to her, or anyone else! You don't see it. You don't know about it. You've never had to pick up the broken pieces." It was many a time Hatori had had to stitch up the wounds Akito's hands had inflicted, and mend what had been broken. It was many a time Hatori had felt the pain and guilt and frustration that came with sending his patients right back to Akito, to be broken again someday.

Shigure's gaze held. "What do you think I'm doing right now, then?"

"I've no idea what you're doing, and I've no idea how you managed to talk me into helping you."

Shigure held his ground at the door, however. "Hatori, please trust me."

"I _don't_," he affirmed. It was true.

The slightly shorter man raised his eyes to Heaven in exasperation. "Ok, bad tactic," he half-joked. Suddenly sober again, he reasoned, "Haa-san, think about it. What could I possibly gain from this if I had planned it with Akito? Of course you'd be suspicious. I'd know you would. I know you better than that." Hatori was silent. "You remember what happened to her? I know you do. I do too. I think about it all the time, see it in my dreams and my daydreams. It doesn't fade. It's like a photograph, clear as the day it was taken. I've memorised the exact position of every cut and bruise that was on her body. And that's exactly what will happen again if you put her back where Akito can get to her." He said it with such conviction, it was hard to disbelieve.

But later, when he was in the car driving to the main house, alone, and the following days, and on several other occasions, Hatori would wonder about what had made him entrust Tohru to the man who had been responsible for all the pain she was caused . . . . and suspect, heavy with guilt, that that trust had been born from his own selfish need to believe that his friend was not a monster.

"Hatori-san? Shigure-san? Is something the matter?" The icy silence thawed somewhat when that innocent presence appeared at the top of the stairs.

Hatori answered after it became apparent Shigure would not. He was waiting to see what Hatori would do. "One of our relatives has been injured, Honda-kun. I've been summoned back to treat him."

Tohru's eye's widened. "Oh no! Is it very bad? Will they be alright?"

"I won't know until I get there, but they should recover as long as I hurry."

"I-I'll fetch you some food for the journey," she offered, darting down into the kitchen before anyone could stop her. Shigure brought his weight off the front door, a cool but mutual understanding having been reached between the two men.

It was when Hatori was on the porch, being handed foil parcel after parcel by Tohru, that he first began wondering about his reasons for leaving her here, quite literally between the teeth of the wolf. He was barely aware of her reminding him to be careful of frost on the roads in this cold weather, and so on.

"I'll be back soon," he promised himself more than her. Then, putting the parcels to one side, he took a light hold of her shoulders. "Tohru-kun." Tohru's curiosity was piqued; he had never called her by name before. "Will you be alright?"

"Ano, of course Hatori-san. Shigure-san will take care of me, and I won't be a bother. Thank you for – "

"No." He shook his head. "No, I didn't mean that. Tohru-kun . . . . . " He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "This is my number. If you're ever scared, or if there's anything wrong at all, _anything_, just call me and I'll be here right away, alright?"

Tohru somehow felt he was trying to make her pick up on some hidden meaning in his words, but she couldn't grasp it. "Th-thank you, Hatori-san." And Hatori had to be satisfied. He had done all he could without risking bringing her memories back. He closed his eyes, from stress more than anything else. "Ah, it's snowing!" His eyes shot open. "Isn't it beautiful?" Tohru's hands were stretched out to catch flakes. Her words took some time to register with his wandering mind.

"Even though it's so cold?" he thought aloud, beyond awed at her simple innocence.

"But there's warmth underneath, still," she said happily.

Hatori gazed back at the lake house, his thoughts again turned to its other occupant. "I hope so."

Shigure appeared in the hall ostensibly to see Hatori off, but their regards were clipped and short. Hatori walked to his car through the thickening snow and looked back one last time as the front door was shut, concealing Shigure and Tohru.

**Notes:**

**Was ****Hatori's departure too rushed? I'm worried about that. Please tell me!**

**Anyway, sorry for taking forever! I'm giving up the internet for Lent, so while I won't be updating this story, I will still be writing, and I aim to have another two chapters finished by Easter. Happy Lent, everyone!**


	9. Cruor Glacialis

**Chapter 9: Cruor Glacialis**

Tohru watched through the open front door and the falling curtains of snow as Hatori strode towards his car with a heavy step - she could almost see the weight of care upon his shoulders. _I hope his relative will be alright_, she thought anxiously. His face had been etched with a deep worry as close to fear as she could imagine someone like Hatori feeling. Her brooding was interrupted when she realised that Shigure was standing behind her, (and had been for some time during her reverie), one hand resting on the door. Tohru gasped and whipped around to him. "Oh, I'm sorry Shigure-san, I didn't see you there."

Shigure grasped the edge of the sliding door and moved to pull it closed. "We're losing the heat, Tohru-kun," he explained. Still recovering her grip on lucidity, Tohru nodded and spun back to face the distant Hatori, intending to wave goodbye . . . . but the motion, and all thoughts of it, died when she saw his face, a mask of foreboding and dread. It chilled her, much more than the bite of the wind which was banished once the door slid closed and formed a barrier between the outside world and the remaining occupants of the house. The younger chill would not be so easily quelled.

Quietly meditating, Tohru was pulled back to reality again when her drifting eyes swept over the hazy, frosted reflection of Shigure in the condensation-drenched window, still standing behind her own twin. Shigure laid a hand on her shoulder and she turned around again, ready to apologise for zoning out on him again, but he spoke first. "Are you alright?" he asked. His question caught her by surprise, and he was answered by her blank face. "You look pretty worried."

"Ano, oh no, I'm fine, really," she said in earnest.

Her mysterious, ever-shifting captor turned a lazy gaze out the window, following the trail of Hatori's car, which had by now been hidden by the bare woodland. "Are you afraid to be left here with me?" he asked frankly. No sense in beating about the bush.

Tohru held up her small hands in protest. "N-no, not at all, Shigure-san. I-I was . . ." She didn't want him to worry about her, or to draw unneeded attention back to the aforementioned invalid (after all, Shigure was most likely worried enough as it was, and it wouldn't be polite to remind him of his family's ills). However equally, she didn't want him to think she was still rudely afraid of him. So, fiddling tentatively with the tips of her index fingers, she told the truth. "I was worried about Hatori-san, and your injured relative, Shigure-san. Ha-Hatori-san seems very concerned, almost afraid, for their sake, and I was thinking . . . . well, Hatori-san is always so calm, it appears, so that's why I was worried."

Shigure was smiling. "You kind child," he said, and then, before the colour had even begun to spread on her cheeks, he turned on his heels and entered the dining room, gesturing for her to follow. "But you needn't worry about Kyo-kun. Haa-san will be able to treat him, and Haa-san knows that." _Kyo-san _. . . thought Tohru to herself, memorising the name which was strangely familiar, like a photograph blurred beyond recognition. "That's not what he was worried about," asserted Shigure, sitting at the kotetsu-covered table with two mugs of tea, one of which he pressed into the girl's hands.

Tohru murmured some thanks and sat at a right angle to him. When she glanced at him, his brown eyes were transfixed upon her, and they held her gaze captive. "He doesn't trust me, you see. He doesn't trust me with you." Shigure didn't say it as if he was sad or angry. He merely said it.

Tohru blinked a few times and shifted where she sat, not fully comprehending what she had been told. That chill she had been unable to dismiss made a new assault on her thoughts. Neither of the two said anything, and so, partially to break the deafening silence (where she was alone with her uncomfortable contemplation), she asked, "I don't really understand. Why wouldn't Hatori-san trust you, Shigure-san? He's your friend, isn't he?" When Shigure didn't answer, she said, "Ah, excuse me for being familiar."

"Not at all." The man beside her exhaled heavily and leaned forward, his head resting on one hand. Tohru let out the breath she hadn't been aware she was holding. The normalcy of Shigure's motion had relieved her somewhat – his monotonous, definitive tone had bordered on frightening. "Haa-san . . . ." he muttered, and he looked at her again, though without the entrancing quality of before. "What you must understand, Tohru-kun, is that . . . . . all this – " he gestured at their surroundings " – was my idea, and mine alone. I was the one who decided to kidnap you. Haa-san is . . . a good person. He's a man of principle and he didn't want anything to do with this. The only reason he helped me was because I, well, to be frank, I morally blackmailed him."

Tohru pondered this new information with surprise. _Blackmail_ . . . The word sounded ugly. "I blackmailed him with your safety, to be specific. He knew he couldn't stop me from going ahead with this, so he did the next best thing. He came to keep an eye on me, and make sure you were unharmed. So you understand why he would be reluctant to leave you here with me." The girl locked eyes with her own perforated reflection in the tea mug. _Hatori-san really is a very kind person_. That was her first thought. Her second was, _Why would a person like Shigure-san go to such lengths to get me? Why me in paticular?_

"But there's more," continued Shigure, drawing her eyes up again, his words a string, albeit fractured and missing vital strands. He suddenly became very interested by the small circles he was drawing with one finger on the table. "There was . . . . a girl. Some time ago. There was a young girl – a child really – who was living with me, in my charge and under my protection. Her family, such as it was, entrusted her to my care and I pretty much adopted her except on paper. She was . . ." he trailed off, and a smile crossed his face, and his finger stilled. ". . . . I'm a novelist, and I don't throw the phrase "words can't describe it" around, but in her case, there really aren't sufficient words." (Tohru withheld her questions about Shigure's profession). "She was kind, that's all. She was simply kind, all the time and to everyone, indiscriminately. She was honest and humble and she put everyone else first and herself last. It's so simple, but so incredible."

Tohru smiled. _Shigure-san looks so gentle right now_. He did. The curve of his mouth wasn't a light-hearted grin or an omniscient smirk. It was something transcendental, and caring. "And I betrayed her."

Suddenly, imperceptibly and terribly, his face, his eyes, and the tone of his voice contorted into intimidating forbearers of the darker events of his story. The slight girl had not noticed the change, and had to forcibly dismiss the urge to back away. "It was for my own benefit, and no-one else's, that I took her in. I was using her all the time. She was never more than a convenient pawn, and any affection I may have felt towards her, any shadow of care, was secondary to that. It was the kind of attachment you might feel towards a familiar, weathered old tool; you may feel a dull pang when you discard it after it's outlived its usefulness, but you discard it nonetheless. It's not important how or for what exactly I manipulated her. The point is, she trusted me, wholly and completely and naïvely. She was never anything but sweet and obliging to me, and I cruelly abused her for my own selfish ends. And as a result, she was hurt."

Something in the way he uttered the word "hurt" suggested silent volumes even to Tohru's innocent ears. She shuddered, and the tremors which ran through her entire form, down to her toes and fingertips, produced ripples on the surface of the tea she was gripping so tightly.

There was an unrelenting quality to Shigure's continuing speech. He was either willfully ignoring her discomfort or unaware of it, and the former was hard to believe considering his perceptive nature. "Every inch of her was cut and bruised. She could barely stand by the end of it." He paused, measuring the effect of his next words. "And Hatori – he cared about her so much, he _loved_ her, in the true meaning of the word . . . quite a contrast to me – and he was the one who had to pick up the pieces and put her back together."

Tohru's eyes drooped down to the table in an almost wilting manner. The deep and strenuous tension she had so often sensed between her captors she now understood somewhat. A new and icier lump had grown in the pit of her stomach during Shigure's harrowing tale, amalgamating the other one.

The tea had gone cold. Icy cold.

The chill gripped her all over.

Shigure observed her reaction. She was still. Her fingers were wrapped around the cup of her untouched tea, and he could see her eyes, albeit with difficulty due to her bowed head, directed at the table's surface, but unfocused. He slouched down, draping himself over the table in order to look up at her. "What are you thinking?"

"That Hatori-san must have been very sad, and that Shigure-san must also be very sad right now."

"Me?"

Tohru nodded several times. "Yes. You must be full of regret . . . and it must make you very sad to think your friend doesn't trust you."

Shigure felt that lukewarm emulsion of guilt and warmth that had been so familiar a month ago, that he had felt whenever she spouted one of her "Tohru-isms". They were not true. They had never and would never graze the surface of the murky truth. "Ah, koi," he sighed, reaching up to brush her cheek. "You'll end up like her if you're not careful."

Some distant relative of a shudder passed through the girl's cheek at those words, though she could scarcely understand them. He pulled back and rose from the table, taking the frigid drinks with him, but halted at the door and began speaking again.

"You never did answer my question." Tohru looked up at him. "And there's no need. You are, in fact, afraid to be here." Her lack of response was in itself an answer. The girl's hands, which had disappeared under the table, shook with trepidation on her lap. "Well," he said lightly, "I'll just have to be especially nice."

And he left to dispose of the tea in the kitchen.

An extremely familiar discomfort was spreading though Tohru. A discomfort . . . . tinged with fear, or terror. He had read her so easily. He had read her effortlessly. She was always such an open book to him, and is made her feel horribly exposed. How long before he discovered . . . . _that_?

_I mustn't think that way_, she thought, stilling the tide of panic that threatened to drown her. _I mustn't. I mustn't. It's alright. Calm down. It's alright. It's alright._ She repeated her mantra again and again, forcibly slowing her breathing, though the rattle remained.

Yes, she was indeed afraid to be with Shigure, first and foremost because he could see right through all her feeble attempts at deception, and could predict with uncanny accuracy the direction of her thoughts. She shuddered to think what would happen if he found out what she was keeping from him.

But there was something else, she knew. Some other reason she feared him. Something that hovered just out of reach every time he darkened te way he so often did . . . . . and something she wasn't sure she even wanted to know.

* * *

It was around midnight by the time Hatori arrived at the Sohma estate. He had driven non-stop, chasing the receding sun, and determinedly staving off tiredness. The snow hadn't stopped in all that time. He wished it would. He was not fond of snow.

Just as he was turning his car to face the enormous, thick wooden doors, his headlights passed over an anomalous figure, standing in the snow. He braked suddenly and rolled down his window, squinting through the heavy snowfall.

Isuzu was at the window in an instant, her fragmented white veil a stark contrast to her ebony hair. Behind her, some way off, Hatori could see a patch of uncovered green next to the wall, marking the spot where she must have huddled throughout the snowfall.

"Get in," he said. She did so, despite her obvious aversion to being told what to do, and slid into the passenger seat.

"What took you so long?" she hissed, keeping an admirable control over he near-chattering teeth.

Hatori silently pulled off his coat and passed it to her (she ignored it), and turned up the heating. "You shouldn't be out in this weather in your condition."

"Don't preach, dammit! You've gotta get in there! You've got to help Kyo!"

"What exactly happened?"

"I don't know!" she yelled. "Kagura went to visit him earlier and came back to the wall in histerics – "

"Wall?"

"Yes, wall! She climbs over the wall, I wait, and then I pull her back over! So she came back crying, and she told me to get you and disappeared. She went back to Kyo!"

Hatori considered this. "And she's still there?"

"I haven't seen her come out, she won't answer her phone, and – " she finally lowered her voice at this, solemnly, " - and I can't go in to get her."

Hatori nodded in understanding. "I'll go. But you have to stay in the car." Isuzu made a face, but stayed where she was as he reversed the car a few hundred metres up the street, out of the line of sight of the main house, and left her. He walked with a direct and unfaltering step to the imposing double doors.

Once inside, he headed straight for the Cat's room, blessedly segregated and hidden from the rest of the compound, where he found Kagura sitting propped up on the wall near the barred window, asleep in the snow, in an almost identical position to Isuzu. He knelt next to her and shook her gently awake. She blinked, bleary-eyed, and looked up.

"Ha-Hatori-kun?" She rubbed her eyes and spoke through chattering teeth. "Y-you came at l-last! P-please, Hatori-kun, Kyo-kun is s-s-so hurt, he h-hasn't woken up since I c-came and h-he – " She was becoming hysterical again, so Hatori laid one hand on her shoulder to quiet her.

"Go to my house and stay there. You've taken a huge risk in trespassing on the grounds and staying here for so long, not to speak of the dangers to you health." Kagura blinked the tears away. "I will be there with Kyo as soon as I can." Kagura nodded and reluctantly left her vigil. Hatori took one look through the bars at the spread-eagled Kyo, then left to find the one person besides Akito who had a key.

The head servant was not happy with being woken at this time of night, especially for the sake of "the cat-monster", but Hatori knew he had the authority. Akito had given Hatori permission to bring Kyo out of the room for a short time to treat him if necessary. It was all he could wrangle from him.

Kyo was in a dire state, he could see. Bloodstreaks and bruises riddled his skin. His clothes were ripped and encrusted with blood, and lacerated skin was visible through the holes. His pallour betrayed the prolonged time he had been left out in the cold . . . . and also that he hadn't been fed properly. He could not be revived, in the short time Hatori could afford to spend trying. Hatori finally arrived back home, carrying the bloody and frozen Kyo.

Kyo was quicky laid down on one of the beds in the small ward Hatori had in his house. Kagura did everything he told her quickly and quietly, fetching medical odds and ends as he cleaned and bandaged Kyo's wounds, and kept watch at Kyo's bedside whenever she was given a spare moment. She watched with unveiled concern as he lay motionless.

Several hours later, Hatori was just coming into the room with tea for Kagura and coffee for himself, when Kyo stirred and revived.

"O-ow," he moaned, as Kagura euphorically threw herself onto him, hugging him tightly.

"Sorry." She pulled back, almost crying from relief.

Kyo pulled himself into a half-sitting, half-lying position, despite the obvious pain it caused him to move. "Where am I?"

Hatori stepped forward. "You're in my house. You'll be staying here until you recover." Kagura visibly flinched when Hatori allured to Kyo's inevitable re-imprisonment.

Kyo looked around. "That's weird. I haven't been out of there in a month." He grinned without humor. "Your house wasn't this big before, was it Hatori?"

"Kyo-kun . . . " murmured Kagura.

Kyo turned to her. "He-hey," he said sharply, his voice rising a tad. "Don't you be getting all upset over this. It's not – "

"You were beaten half to death!" she cried.

"Only because I – " he cut himself off and reigned in his anger. "Sorry," he muttered. "I shouldn't have yelled."

Hatori pulled a chair over to the bed, his interest piqued. "Because you what?" he asked. Kyo looked away. "Kyo, what happened?"

"I took a swing at him, happy?" he retorted. Kagura gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, but Hatori considered this evenly. "I punched him. Akito. He wasn't going so hard on me until then."

Kagura shook her head violently. "Wh-what on earth possessed you to . . . . "

Kyo gritted his teeth. "I know I shouldn't have. It's ended up causing all this trouble. But . . . . he said . . . . such terrible things." He clenched his fist so hard that he reopened some small scars on his hand. "He was threatening her. Tohru." Kagura's brown eyes, twins to Tohru's, widened, and Hatori paid close attention, measuring every word Kyo said. "He was talking about all the things he was going to do to her. He was saying what he'd done before to her would be nothing compared to . . . . He said he was going to lock her up again and . . . . " He couldn't finish. He smashed his fist into the bedside table, knocking some pill bottles askew.

No-one spoke for a while. "Kyo-kun," began Kagura in a small voice. "Tohru-chan is gone. Akito can't get to her anymore."

Kyo slackened. Now, he really was in pain, Hatori knew.

They all were.

"I know," Kyo conceded. "It was stupid. But I . . . I couldn't stand it when – "

"We understand, Kyo," said Hatori, and his voice didn't waver at all when he spoke. He betrayed nothing in his tone.

Kyo's eyes drifted without direction, his fist still clenched, until they arrived at the lamp on his bedside table, which was lit. His eyes widened, his fist unclenched, and his grim mask fell at once from his face, to be replaced with open surprise. "Hey! It's night!"

In spite of everything, and in spite of the mood of the conversation, Kagura burst out laughing at such a ridiculous statement, and Hatori leaned forward, holding out his hand. "How many fingers?" he asked solemnly. Kagura's laughter went up an octave.

Kyo's face was now as red as his hair, and he angrily batted Hatori away. "Dammit! I mean, was it just a few hours ago that Akito railed on me? I thought it was the next morning."

Kagura gasped. "I'd never leave you that long, Kyo-kun!"

Kyo's blood-red eyes burned with anger. "I know" he said, his tone low and dangerous. "I was beat up maybe six or seven hours ago, correct? And Hatori was away . . . . Akito said something about it. So how was I brought here so quickly? There's only one person who comes to the Cat's room often enough to notice so quickly. There's only one person who'd care who's allowed near the place. And that person never comes in the middle of the night, she comes in the afternoon." He glared at Kagura again. "And once she was there, she wouldn't have left until Hatori came, however many _hours_ that may take." Kagura was extremely quiet. She didn't even move. "You stayed there, didn't you!!" he yelled.

"Kyo," Hatori interjected. "You don't want to wake up the whole compound, do you?" His eyes flicked over to Kagura, reminding Kyo once again of the danger she was in.

The red-haired boy seethed but lowered his voice. "You're forbidden to enter the compound, you know that," he seethed. "It's bad enough when you sneak in for half an hour or so, but to stay there for half the night?! Do you have any idea what a stupid risk that was?!"

"I couldn't leave you."

"Do you want to end up like – " He cut himself off.

Hatori came forward. "It's late. Kyo, you're in no condition to be yelling and I'm sure after staying out in the snow Kagura's in no condition to hear it. I'll drop her and Isuzu home."

Kagura was shocked. "Isuzu-chan stayed out all night too?"

Hatori couldn't help but smile slightly. "You _both_ have incurably loyal friends." His smile fell from his face. "However, Isuzu is better equipped to deal with that harsh weather than you Kagura, even with her health." Kagura was shamefaced. Hatori saw that she was upset, so he cracked a joke to lighten the mood. "You normal, _non-cursed_ humans . . . You just can't take anything."

"Hey!" cried Kyo.

But Hatori had already turned to leave. "Come along, Kagura."

"Hatori," called Kyo from the bed. "Give out to her for me, would you?"

"If you promise to rest."

Hatori had led Kagura just out of Kyo's earshot when she said, with finality, "I'm going to visit Yuki-kun. Please, give me the keys and give me some medicines or anything. If this is how bad Kyo is after one beating, what state must Yuki-kun be in after all this time?"

"Never. It's too dangerous." Somehow Hatori knew already it was no use. His protests were almost automatic in their nature.

"It might be dangerous, but I'm the only one for whom it's possible. I'm not bound by Akito's word. I don't have to obey him. I only pretended to because I thought it would be safer for Kyo-kun and Okaa-san and Isuzu-chan and everyone else. But now it's too dangerous for me _not_ to help Yuki-kun. Please, Hatori." Hatori was caught. Kagura could be hurt in this attempt. On the other hand, he hadn't been allowed even to check on Yuki. For all he knew, he hadn't been fed. For all he knew, he could be dying. "I'll do it with or without you help." He grimaced. He'd heard that not too long ago, and it had worked last time too.

* * *

Clutching a bundle of food, gauze, and disinfectant, Kagura crept as silently as she could through the dark hallways of the house where Akito dwelt. She again rued the loss of her animal skill of discretion, as she heard some boards creek. She crept up to the door of Akito's room, gathering the courage (or foolishness) needed to sneak in to steal the key to Yuki's room. She wasn't even sure where to look. The thought of spending long minutes or hours in the den of the sleeping lion was almost, but not quite, enough to send her packing.

Her hand hovered over the handle, but was snatched from behind, and another hand clamped over mouth before she could gasp. She was pulled away from the door. Her heart immediately accelerated to a deafening, rapid throb.

"It's me," whispered Kureno. He let her go immediately. "Sorry, I didn't want to make any noise." Kagura eyed him warily. "Follow me."

He led her to Yuki's room and passed her the key. "I'll distract anyone who comes. Quickly, help him. Akito is always stained with blood when he comes out, and I don't know when the last time Yuki ate was."

"Kureno!" called Kagura. "Thank you." And she steeled herself to enter the pitch-black room as Kureno left to take up his post.

Yuki was indeed in a dire state – that much was clear from what the light from the open door alone could reveal. Kyo's injuries paled in comparison with his. Weeks of maltreatment and beatings from a fist or nails or a whip or God-knew-what-else had left his skin white as a sheet, albeit patched with red and purple. He was even thinner than before and bruises and cuts riddled every visible inch of his skin. Kagura suppressed tears as she hoisted his head onto her lap, feeling with revulsion the ribs through his crimson-stained shirt. "Yuki-kun?" she whispered, gently pulling his hair away from his face. Bile rose in her throat as she peeled the hair on his forehead free from a thick crust of dry blood. "Listen, you have to eat this."

She pressed the food to his mangled lips. He obediently opened and swallowed, his eyes still closed. Now and then he mumbled in a dream-like state, gradually gaining coherence, but obviously lacking lucidity. Once Kagura had fed him, she proceeded to wash out his cuts, some of which were secreting yellow puss which screamed "infection", but she didn't dare bandage any for fear of bring even more of Akito's wrath down on Yuki . . . or Hatori.

Yuki never woke, but he was half-aware of her. "T-Tohru?" he called achingly.

Kagura's heart sank. She wasn't the one he needed. She wasn't really the one anyone needed, and she was a poor substitute. "Yes, Yuki-kun," she lied trying to imitate Tohru's speech patterns. "I'm here."

Yuki began writhing from side to side. "N-no! Y-y-you can't be here . . . He'll come . . . Tohru, don't let him hurt you!"

Kagura stroked Yuki's hair, restraining him with frightening ease. _Yuki-kun, you're stronger than this!_ But she forced her voice to sound calm. "Shhh, hush, it's alright. He won't find me. I'm safe."

A single tear leaked from one of Yuki's closed eye. "Couldn't stop him . . . . I f-failed . . . I c-couldn't . . . . protect . . . . I'm so – "

"It's alright. I'm safe," she repeated firmly.

Yuki was inconsolable. "No, you . . you're not . . . not safe," he murmured feverishly. "Not safe . . . not safe. Tohru!" Kagura bolted upright at the sharp seriousness of his words. "He's going to come for you! He's going to bring you back here. A-A-Akito. He wants you here. He's going to get you. He's going to hurt you! He'll keep you here forever! Don't . . . don't . . . don't!" Try as she might, Kagura couldn't calm him, or still his ramblings.

But his next words froze her to the core.

"Don't make that mistake twice . . . . Tohru, don't trust him! Either of them! . . . . . Don't . . . . trust . . . . Shigure . . . ."

Kagura shook her head, as if literally shaking off the freezing ominousness of his words. "Not safe," he continued. "Not safe . . . . "

**Next chapter in steady progress.**

**Boy, that was a tough Lent. I spent most of today on the 'Net.**

**Great to be back! Love, Suteki31392!**


	10. Coniurationem Tiberius Invenit

**It's been almost a year, hasn't it? Wow. Sorry everyone, especially those of you who have been reviewing!**

**I know I've been asked to translate the chapter titles, and no worries, I will, but not for a while . . . .**

**Chapter 10: Coniurationem Tiberius Invenit**

Tohru screamed and was ripped from her sleep once again. She shot up straight in her bed and half-crashed into, and was half-caught by Shigure, who had been sitting on the side of the bed, waiting vigilantly for the nightmare to end. He pulled her promptly into an embrace, patting her head and murmuring, "Shh, it's alright, it's over." It took her some time to remember where she was, but once she did, she collapsed again into sobs. Shigure rocked her gently.

Somehow, shame and embarrassment managed to prod their way through the choking fear. Tohru opened her mouth several times, and the word she struggled to produce wrestled with her sobs. "I-I'm - hic - s-so sorry. I k-keep – "

"What did I tell you about that word?"

Tohru sobbed meekly, and altered her last sentence. "I-I keep seeing a face. A terrible face!"

"It's ok. There's only you and me here." He paused, considering his next words. "Tohru-kun?" he asked, pulling back a little. "Is this the same dream as before?" Tohru nodded. "This face. Do you remember it?"

Tohru realised the importance of this question instantly. Before she had remembered nothing about her nightmare but the remaining abject terror. Now, she did indeed remember a few details of the face, and that there had been a face, but it had faded in her memory already. "It's a man," she began quickly, as if racing against an invisible tide of oblivion. However, Shigure still had to coax the words out of her. (She was still worried about being a bother). "A young man, with black hair. I . . . I forget most of the details, I can't see his face clearly in my mind, but he's . . . very beautiful. Very beautiful, but," she shivered unconsciously, "but it's hard to notice how beautiful he is because he looks so dangerous . . . . He looks like he hates me. He voice is . . . twisted somehow, as if there are two voices there instead of one, like a strange echo follows his. And – "

She suddenly cut off, and Shigure had to press her for more details. "And what, Tohru-kun?" She shuddered again. "Tohru-kun, speaking about it won't bring him here," he admonished gently.

"His eyes," the girl whispered. "His face is so gentle except for them. They're so cold. Freezing. It was as if all the warmth in the world disappeared." Tremors ran though her again. "He hates me . . . . He really, really, hates me and I've no idea why. He says – " she struggled to get her next words out, "such terrible things to me."

"Like what?" Shigure's response was lightning-quick.

Somewhat offput by his tone, Tohru nonetheless answered quickly. "H-he says he's coming. H-he says he's coming to get me, and do bad things to me. He says . . . it's all my fault." Once again, although the reason escaped her, a sickly wave of shame washed over Tohru's heart. _"Your fault. All. Your. Fault." "It's all your fault!" _She couldn't escape the feeling of culpability, bad memories of reality mingling with the memories of her dream. She remembered the fury in _his _face as he –

"What is?" Tohru blinked and stumbled, as it were, back into reality. Shigure had pulled back and was gently shaking her unresponsive form, his hand resting on her shoulder.

Once she connected meaning to his words, she answered furtively, as if she thought he could read her mind and detect the shameful memories she had been wading through. Her fear shape-shifted once again – it had not left her since she awoke, but had merely changed it source; first the man in her dreams, then _him_, and now the man from the dream, once more. "I-I don't remember. Something terrible, though. He says I've done something awful. He says I deserve what he's going to, to, to do to me. He says – "

"Hush." Shigure leaned forward and touched her cheek lightly once she began to become hysterical. "It's ok. I'm here to look after you, remember?" She didn't object at all to his gesture; a far cry from her cowering the night before. "And you haven't done anything wrong. _Nothing_. Remember, evil people and so forth?"

They both sat in the silence, both lost in the unhappy contemplation of Tohru's nightmare, both trying to conceal it (and only one succeeding). After a while, Tohru mumbled, "Shigure-san, may I ask you a question?"

"Go right ahead."

"Wh-why are you . . ." (Shigure could immediately sense she'd had a hard time deciding whether or not to brave asking this question) " . . . forgive me, I'm not implying anything at all, I was just wondering . . . . wh-why are you so kind to me?"

Shigure was (slightly) taken aback. "Kind?" He smirked. "I'm a kidnapper, remember?"

"B-but, aside from that – "

"Why? How are kidnappers supposed to behave? You'll have to excuse me, it's my second day!" He wasn't taking her question very seriously.

"N-no, I-I didn't mean it that way, Shigure-san. I . . . . I don't mean you as a kidnapper. I just mean you, as _you_. You and Hatori-san . . . If you understand what I mean." When she was met with silence, Tohru continued, "I mean, you've gone to so much trouble to make me feel safe, a-and you, Shigure-san, you've paid so much undeserved attention to me after my bad dreams, and Hatori wasn't mad at me after I broke the bowls, and you both say such nice things to me and I," (she realised she had been babbling, so she bowed, sitting half-covered in bed as she was, and lowered her voice with her head), "I don't do anything to deserve it."

Tohru raised her head to find Shigure staring at her in a most disconcerting fashion

Shigure turned his head off to the side, lost in thought. His arms had fallen away from Tohru. She misinterpreted his silence. "Ano, Shigure-san?"

"I'm not angry," he said a little too quickly. Tohru observed him, wide-eyed. "Really, I'm not," he said again. "I just . . . don't understand how you can keep getting it so wrong." Tohru cocked her head to the side, confused. "I'm the one who . . . ." He stopped himself and looked off to the side, but quickly recovered. "Why is Tohru-kun kind enough not to be angry with me?"

"Eh? I . . . I couldn't be angry with you Shigure-san, you – "

" – have done a very bad thing to you. Continue to do so. Will you forgive me for it, Tohru-kun?"

". . . . . O-of course, Shigure-san. Every time."

"Thank you." And he tapped her nose with his index finger. "So I'll make it up to you by being "kind", as you put it."

"I've troubled you terribly."

"No trouble, I'm still up. I'm trying to find my identity again." Tohru had nothing to say to that, and could only offer a wide-eyed, confused stare. _Identity? _Shigure laughed at her bewilderment. "Perhaps you could help me?"

The missing link had been dancing on the edge of her vision for some time – she finally caught sight of it. "The Romans? Shigure-san, do you want to know which one you are?" He nodded. "I'd love to help, it sounds like so much fun!"

"Fetch a dressing gown or a haori from the closet then, it's cold downstairs."

Sitting on the couch downstairs, Gibbon's book or bundles translated of Shigure's translated notes laid out on their laps, Tohru and Shigure didn't exactly _accomplish _the task, despite both being buried in their research, but Shigure's ulterior motive was satisfied; Tohru quickly forgot her anxiety and engrossed herself in the search with the characteristic devotion she found for the most menial, some would say, _childish _tasks. She was an endearingly inquisitive soul, and it was a pleasure to teach her about the various rulers and prominent figures of the Roman Empire. And although she never lost the timid hesitance which came before posing a question, Shigure felt that the wavers were becoming different – her natural bashfulness was a more dominant source than fear.

But fear, to his dismay, remained, even a small amount.

And her judgment, to his further dismay, was painfully inaccurate. Tyrant after tyrant was rejected by Tohru, as of course, those men could _never _represent a man as _good _as Shigure.

_Rejected _wasn't even a suitable word for her actions. Each time she ended an analysis of a despot and moved to place their notes and picture on the table, she stopped and scanned the image of the coin or ancient bust which portrayed (probably quite inaccurately) their long-dead-and-rotted features with sad brown eyes. She sat unmoving for some time in this manner. The first time she did this, it had taken Shigure a while to notice, as he was reading some notes of his own. He raised his head and took in her sad face. "Tohru-kun?" She was jolted out of her meditation, and turned to her companion. "Are you alright? You look so sad," he had said.

"Ano, I'm fine, thank you, Shigure. I was just thinking . . ." She looked back at the picture and attempted to change the subject. "Ano, you aren't Domitian-san . . . h-he was . . ." Her voice dissipated again, making Shigure wonder if she suffered a physical impediment to using those word which could describe "Domitian-san".

He didn't give up. "What were you thinking?"

Tohru stared at the picture, her eyes swimming in unfallen tears. "I wonder . . . . if there was something painful . . . . something Domitian-san was suffering from deep inside . . . . I wonder if there was something painful that made him do all those bad things."

Shigure couldn't even smile at that. The child put the papers on the table, on the spot where the "Rejected pile" (such as it was) would grow. "Um, I'm sorry. I say very strange things sometimes. I-I hope I didn't – "

"No, no." _Domitian. Mailicious creature, you aren't satisfied by physical scars, so you haunt her nightmares even now, and yet she shows you such compassion without even realising it. _"Would you like some tea, Tohru?"

The game continued until Shigure noticed the absence of her light movements on the edge of his vision, and the corners of his mouth curled up when saw that she had fallen asleep, her body sagged against the armrest. With a silent prayer to "whoever may be listening" that she would be free from her nightmares, he rose with the intention of carrying her back upstairs. He gathered her gently into his arms and headed to the door of the room . . .

And froze.

Perched on the windowsill outside, within the boundaries of the light from the window which tore the otherwise unbroken blackness of unihabited land, was a single small white bird. And tied to the bird's thin leg was a letter. The little creature had been observing him for who knew how long with keen black eyes, waiting patiently to be relieved of its burden. Almost challenging him to relieve it, or so it seemed to Shigure.

Tohru produced an unconscious whimper which brought his attention back to his own burden, and he quickly loosened his grip which had grown painfully tight. His fingertips had dug into her arm and leg at the sight of the messenger. _To be so put off by a damn bird_. He attempted an inward laugh as he set Tohru back down on the cough, and walked back to the window with a slow and measured step. He opened it, and was stung in unison by the cold and by the bird's small claws as it settled on his arm. The letter untied, the animal disappeared once again into the darkness.

Shigure turned back towards Tohru but didn't move away from the window, feeling the cold air pour upon his back. He stared hard at her for a long time before opening the envelope and thrusting his hand inside.

He pulled out a flower. It was lifeless and limp, and its petals were brittle and brown at the edges. More petals, all in the same sorry state, fell out of the envelope and littered the floor at Shigure's feet, and upon closer inspection, Shigure found rips and tears in them which had obviously been made by human hands. Human hands which were careful and calculating in their work, and which had produced many small gashes in each petal without completely destroying the plant. They looked . . . . _painful_.

Shigure held the flower up so that it was right next to Tohru in his line of vision. A blackness to rival the night had settled in his eyes, and had she awoken and seen him, she may have thought she was in another nightmare. More time passed before another whimper and a shiver from the child reminded him that it was getting cold, se he closed the window, pausing to gaze into the darkness solemnly.

Stroking one fragile, tattered petal and with a dark imitation of his usual levity, he chuckled, "Oh Akito, Akito. That boy really is too poetic for someone his age. He should get out more."

The sunlight, cloaked in iron clouds as it was, possessed the particular cold quality winter so often succeeds in infecting it with. Shigure shifted morosely, robbed of the few hours of sleep he had attained on the couch. _I miss sleep_. He pulled himself from his seat with regret and stretched without conviction.

The clock read ten o'clock. This was surprising for two reasons.

One: It meant that he had slept longer than any night since the _unpleasantness_.

Two (confirmed by a quick and quiet look into her room): It meant that Tohru had slept to a significantly un-Tohru-like time. He thought back to her pale appearance on her first day of captivity and wondered how long these nightmares had been affecting her. At least she was catching up on some sleep now.

It is a well-known and established fact that phones have an innate ability to sense when their shrill voices are least wanted. And, on cue, the phone rang at just that moment. Shigure hastily picked it up, mindful of the second phone upstairs which might wake Tohru.

"Have you heard?" Tiberius.

"How did you get this number, Mayu-chan?"

"It's called "Omniscience of the Ex-Girlfriend", Shigure, and it's a power as old as time itself. There was no answer at your house. So, have you heard about Honda?"

This intrigued Shigure. He had been sure no-one in Tohru's family would dare reveal her whereabouts. He had been certain no-one would find out. This was, quite honestly, a development he had not foreseen. Which intrigued him. "Elaboration?"

"She was kidnapped, Shigure. The day I last saw you."

"By who?"

"Well obviously if we knew, this wouldn't be a problem."

"And who told you this? Have the police been called?" He (very successfully) tried to speak without a trace of concern and only with mild interest.

"Hanajima. Apparently she and Uotani went to the Honda residence looking for Tohru, and were told that she'd been snatched the night before and that a private detective was on the case."

"Private? Doesn't that mean you shouldn't know?"

"Hanajima said she thought I should know, whatever she meant by that." Shigure thought about this for a while. Saki-chan always did seem about five steps ahead of everyone else. Could she have known Mayuko would contact him? . . . . Somehow he doubted it. Saki had a gift, no doubt about it, but it had never proven itself to be very . . . . . _specific_. "I mean, what the _hell _am I supposed to do!"

That little outburst halted Shigure's train of thought. At last he detected the underlying strain in her voice, like an elastic band stretched to breaking point. She was worried. Truly worried. And furious at her powerlessness. He knew.

He knew that feeling all too well.

"And why are you so quiet?" The elastic snapped.

"I beg your pardon? What are you talking about? What do you expect?"

"Just _say _something!"

Mayuko was now yelling. Shigure was surprised at how much her yelling surprised him. Mayuko did not yell. She had a very colourful array of method for getting her anger across, and yelling did not generally feature among them. "Why are you telling me this exactly, Mayu-chan?" he asked, injecting as much nonchalance into his voice as he could.

He could almost hear her gathering the shards of her lost temper together and holding them in place by sheer force of will alone. "I don't know . . . . I guess . . . some small, _small_, soon-to-be-carefully-disposed-of part of my mind thought you might be concerned. Or I thought you should know because you are . . . . you were her . . . ." she fell silent and exhaled loudly. "You know what, nothing. Nothing. Hell, I think I just wanted you to feel some-_damn-_thing. Alright? Do you feel anything? . . . . You know what, forget it. Just forget it. I've let you know, and if you hear or see anything suspicious call the police, and, so on."

"Well actually I do happen know exactly who has taken Tohru-kun."

"Who?" Mayuko was no doubt too nonplussed to react otherwise.

"Me."

After a few moments, Shigure heard the hollow yet assertive imapct of a fist against a wall (or possibly a table). "Yeah. Alright. Great. Either you've gotten even crazier, or your jokes have gotten even worse." Her sarcasm barely chained her previous raw fury.

Time for the "solemn voice", he thought. "I'm quite serious. It was me."

Shigure counted the drips the tap in the kitchen gave out in the following drawn-out silence. And when the teacher next spoke, her ability to hiss even the syllables which did not contain an "s" was quite astonishing.

"You have thirty seconds to tell me your _extremely good reason_ for doing this, youmistake of nature, before I hang up and call the police."

"She was in danger."

"I beg your pardon?"

"When you say "thirty seconds" do you count the time eaten up by your many, many interruptions?"

"Shut up. What are you talking about?"

Shigure sighed heavily. "Listen, what I did, I would not have done had I had an alternative, alright? She was in danger, and she still is. That's a fact, by the way. I know that she is, and I know who from, as well."

Mayuko started several sentences which expired quickly in her mouth before at last, a few escaped. "That's insane. Do you expect me to believe that? In that case, why didn't you go to the police? You were certainly very insistant you stay out of Honda's life a couple of days ago."

"The police are not an option." He said it with a steely edge he was sure even she would not question.

"And what kind of omnipotent law-transcending being concerns itself with an ordinary teenage girl?"

"The same kind who concerns himself with pulling out the eyes of perfectly ordinary doctors." That produced the desired effect on her, needless to say. Mayuko said nothing. A feather-light thudding above the ceiling, so faint it was barely there, could be heard in the ensuing silence. "I've got to go, Mayu-chan. Tohru-kun's up."

"Ha-," a few moments passed while Mayuko's dry throat creaked back to life. "Hang on. Let me talk to her."

"I can't. Her memories are still gone. If she figures out that you and I know each other, she might start remembering other things. Her memories have to stay hidden."

"You . . . you really wanted to cut her out, didn't you? . . . . Oh, why don't I call the police right now?"

"I don't know. Why aren't you going to?" He knew why, though. He had struck her Achilles' heel. The memory of Kana's illness would hold her back for a few days at least. It would hold her back long enough, in any case.

A pause. "And you promise she'll be safe, right? Do you promise? Swear it. Promise me you won't let anything happen to her."

Tohru's footsteps met the top of the stairs. Mindful of this and somehow finding himself in an impossible situation, Shigure answered, "Oh, Mayu-chan. All the people I've promised that to, and somehow I can't promise it to you. No idea why. You're too incisive, I suppose . . . . . . I'll do my best. Is that alright Mayu-chan? Can I do that? Terrible things are going to happen, and by the end no-one will trust me, not even her. Already I don't trust myself. So will you, Mayu-chan? If you trust me to do my best, that's more than any wise person should. Will you?"

The phone was hung up, and dirty, ragged petals danced around his feet.

**So sorry everyone!**

**I said before and I'll say it again – it may take ages, but I'm finishing this story! But do tell me, how is Mayuko coming across? I found her chacter a little difficult in this chapter. Is she in character? Does she sound right? Thank you!**


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